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Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production andpreservation outweigh the advantages? v.2

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production andpreservation outweigh the advantages? v. 2
Most foods that are purchased these days in small stores and supermarkets have chemicals in them as these are used to improve production and ensure the food lasts for longer. However, there are concerns that these have harmful effects. In my opinion, the potential dangers from this are greater than the benefits we receive. There are several reasons why chemicals are placed in food. Firstly, it is to improve the product to the eye, and this is achieved via the use of colourings which encourage people to purchase food that may otherwise not look tempting to eat. Another reason is to preserve the food. Much of the food we eat would not actually last that long if it were not for chemicals they contain, so again this is an advantage to the companies that sell food as their products have a longer shelf life. From this evidence, it is clear to me that the main benefits are, therefore, to the companies and not to the customer. Although companies claim these food additives are safe and they have research to support this, the research is quite possibly biased as it comes from their own companies or people with connections to these companies. It is common to read reports these days in the press about possible links to various health issues such as cancer. Food additives have also been linked to problems such as hyperactivity in children. To conclude, despite the fact that there are benefits to placing chemicals in food, I believe that these principally help the companies but could be a danger to the public. It is unlikely that this practice can be stopped, so food must be clearly labelled and it is my hope that organic products will become more readily available at reasonable prices to all.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
these days in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stores and supermarkets have chemicals in

Did you mean "Then"?
them
as these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
production and ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lasts for longer.
However
,

there are concerns that these have harmful effects. In my opinion, the potential
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
dangers


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
this are greater than the benefits we receive.

There are several reasons why chemicals
are placed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the

product to the eye, and this
is achieved
via the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
colourings
which encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that may
otherwise
not look tempting to eat. Another reason is to preserve
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
food
. Much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we eat would not actually last that long if it were not for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
chemicals


they contain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
again this is an advantage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as their products

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
a longer shelf life.

From this evidence, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to me that the main benefits are,
therefore
, to the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
companies
and not to the customer.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
claim these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
additives
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


safe and they have research to support this, the research is quite
possibly
biased as it

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
comes
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with connections to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


common to read reports these days in the press about possible links to various health

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
issues
such as cancer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
additives have
also
been linked
to problems such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hyperactivity
in children.

To conclude
, despite the fact that there are benefits to placing chemicals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, I believe

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
these
principally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to the public. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


unlikely that this practice can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
clearly
labelled and it is my hope

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
organic products will become more
readily
available at reasonable prices to all.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes
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IELTS essay Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production andpreservation outweigh the advantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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