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Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweighs the advantages? v.2

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweighs the advantages? v. 2
Foods purchased in markets and supermarkets contain preservatives and this has been a major source of concern to humans because of its danger. In my opinion, the drawbacks such as the detrimental effect on one's health supersedes any benefit it poses. Admittedly, the basic advantage of using preservatives such as colours in food is to improve the appearance. In other words, without the using colour in food production, the products will not be presentable and appealing for consumption to the public. Also, another prime benefit of using chemicals is that it helps to improve the shelf life of the product. To put in another way, without additives there will be accelerated rate of spoilage of food materials, hence, resulting in the degradation of the food product. For example, after the UK government banned the use of chemical in 2016 there was a rapid degradation of food materials in the stores, and the manufacturers attributed this occurrence to the ban of the chemicals essential for preserving the raw materials. Nevertheless, despite the advantages above, I believe that humans face serious drawbacks from the use of these chemicals. One potentially dangerous problem is its detrimental effect on human health. As a result, consumption of these products leads to life threatening illnesses such as liver failure, cancer, asthma. Consequently, increasing death rate and shortening life span. For example, the reported use of "sniper" a product containing permethrin - a chemical that should not be used in food products in eradicating pests in beans in the city of Kano, there was a resultant increase in liver diseases, visits to the hospital following its consumption. In conclusion, despite the benefit of prolonged shelf life using chemicals confer, it's reported disadvantage voids any advantage. It is highly recommended that the government increases the availability of organic produce in order to improve quality of lives of the population.
Foods
purchased
in markets and supermarkets contain preservatives and this has been a major source of concern to humans
because
of its
danger
. In my opinion, the drawbacks such as the detrimental effect on one's health supersedes any benefit it poses.

Admittedly
, the basic advantage of using preservatives such as
colours
in
food
is to
improve
the appearance.
In other words
, without the using
colour
in
food
production, the
products
will not be presentable and appealing for consumption to the public.
Also
, another prime benefit of using
chemicals
is that it
helps
to
improve
the shelf
life
of the
product
. To put in another way, without additives there will
be accelerated
rate of spoilage of
food
materials,
hence
, resulting in the degradation of the
food
product
.
For example
, after the UK
government
banned the
use
of
chemical
in 2016 there was a rapid degradation of
food
materials in the stores, and the manufacturers attributed this occurrence to the ban of the
chemicals
essential for preserving the raw materials.

Nevertheless
, despite the advantages above, I believe that humans face serious drawbacks from the
use
of these
chemicals
. One
potentially
dangerous
problem is its detrimental effect on human health.
As a result
, consumption of these
products
leads to
life
threatening illnesses such as liver failure, cancer, asthma.
Consequently
, increasing death rate and shortening
life
span.
For example
, the reported
use
of
"
sniper
"
a
product
containing permethrin
-
a
chemical
that should not be
used
in
food
products
in eradicating pests in beans in the city of Kano, there was a resultant increase in liver diseases, visits to the hospital following its consumption.

In conclusion
, despite the benefit of prolonged shelf
life
using
chemicals
confer, it's reported disadvantage voids any advantage. It is
highly
recommended that the
government
increases the availability of organic produce in order to
improve
quality of
lives
of the population.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweighs the advantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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