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Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweighs the advantages? v.1

It is believed by a myriad of individuals that using chemicals has certain advantages, i think are disadvantages as well. On the one hand, chemicals placed in food, because that give the product visualize. Firstly, it is to improve the product to the eye and this is achieved via the use of colourings which encourage people to purchase food that may other wise not look tempting to eat. Secondly, much of the food we eat would not actually last that long of it were not for chemicals they contain, so again this is an advantage to the companies that sell food as their products have a longer shelf life. On the other hand, chemicals have negative impact on our health. Firstly, chemicals act quickly, we can develop habits to use and get used to these products. For example, chemicals give pleasure at the expense of our health. Secondly, chemicals harmful not only for health, but also have impression to our brain. This is because, the more you are eating chemicals, the easier it will be forget information to your brain. For instance, they strongly affect the nervous organs and make the brain weak. Therefore, i think chemicals shouldn't use in producing. To conclude, the fact that there are benefits to placing chemicals in food. I believe that these principally help the companies, but could be a danger to the public.
It
is believed
by a myriad of individuals that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
has certain advantages,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
are disadvantages
as well
. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
placed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
visualize.
Firstly
, it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to the eye and this
is achieved
via the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
colourings
which encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that may
This has to be spelled as one word.
other wise
not look tempting to eat.
Secondly
, much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we eat would not actually last that long of it were not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
they contain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
again this is an advantage to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have a longer shelf life.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our health.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
act
quickly
, we can develop habits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
give pleasure at the expense of our health.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
harmful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have impression to our brain. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the more you are eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
, the easier it will be
Consider using the past participle “forgotten”.
forget
information to your brain.
For instance
, they
strongly
affect the nervous organs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the brain weak.
Therefore
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in producing.
To conclude
, the fact that there are benefits to placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I believe that these
principally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to the public.
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A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Do the danger derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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