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Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.4

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages? v. 4
The application of the chemistry in the food industry has resulted in evolutionary developments in food production in terms of safety from opportunistic contamination as well as improving the taste and flavour of the processed products. Yet, the involvement of these synthetic substances into our food chain has many drawbacks which overall surpass their advantages and hence, endanger the utilisers’ lives. This essay will shed light on the reason why and how these chemical additives embody a major threat to human health. First of all, adding chemicals to improve the taste-quality of the food does nothing good with the nutritional value. In fact, some of the chemical ingredients counteract with the food components in a way that eventually lead to the reduction of the essential nutrients, which primarily required for strengthening the human body, particularly at the early stage of the growth. To easily illustrate, people who almost live on organic diet enjoy a healthier lifestyle and stronger outfit compared to those who majorly consume processed and additives-enriched products. Furthermore, the presence of chemical substances in our nutrition, especially those used for preservation, threatens the lives of the consumers in several ways. Firstly, some of these substances are found to be carcinogens. In other words, it is discovered that they interact with the cellular components and provoke free radicals, which result in uncontrollable tumorous growth, the so-called cancer disease. In addition to this, the overwhelming use of preservative chemicals into foodstuff helps in the emergence of antibiotic-resistant pathogenic bacteria which embody a serious dilemma to major scientists and would put the life of the humanity on the line. Having discussed the dangers of the chemical application in the food industry, the degradation of the necessary nutrients and the health complications after the consumption are the major disadvantages.
The application of the chemistry in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry has resulted in evolutionary developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production in terms of safety from opportunistic contamination
as well
as improving the taste and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
of the processed products.
Yet
, the involvement of these synthetic substances into our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks which
overall
surpass their advantages and
hence
, endanger the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisers' is British English.
utilisers
’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will shed light on the reason why and how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
additives embody a major threat to human health.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the taste-quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
does nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with the nutritional value. In fact,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
ingredients counteract with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
components in a way that
eventually
lead to the reduction of the essential nutrients, which
primarily
required for strengthening the human body,
particularly
at the early stage of the growth. To
easily
illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on organic diet enjoy a healthier lifestyle and stronger outfit compared to those who
majorly
consume processed and additives-enriched products.

Furthermore
, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
substances in our nutrition,
especially
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for preservation, threatens the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the consumers in several ways.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these substances
are found
to be carcinogens.
In other words
, it
is discovered
that they interact with the cellular components and provoke free radicals, which result in uncontrollable tumorous growth, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called cancer disease.
In addition
to this, the overwhelming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of preservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
into foodstuff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the emergence of antibiotic-resistant pathogenic bacteria which embody a serious dilemma to major scientists and would put the life of the humanity on the line.

Having discussed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
application in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry, the degradation of the necessary nutrients and the health complications after the consumption are the major disadvantages.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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