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Discuss when, if ever capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for a crime. v.1

Discuss when, if ever capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for a crime. v. 1
In the world we live in today, there are different views concerning Capital Punishment. Some would regard it as beneficial; however, some are sceptical about it. In this essay, both views will be discussed. There are those who do not agree with the death penalty for reasons such as police authorities could be mistaken "the real culprit" to "a culprit". In fact, there has been a situation before that the cops just wanted to prove that they have solved the case by picking up the one who they believed did the crime not knowing who actually did it. An example is the case of an Australian man named Mr. Johnson. He was prosecuted for committing murder and was hanged in the middle of the city-centre in Melbourne, but surprisingly, a week after his execution, a hesitant witness came out and pointed to the Victorian police who actually murdered the victim. This was a hot topic because of the public awareness, and this is the reason why such punishment is being disregarded. On the other hand, there are various people who believe in it because it could give peace and order in the society. For instance, here in the Philippines, crimes such as rape, murder, homicide, robbery and many types of it are being committed as evidence in Philippine TV news. So, people strongly believe that capital punishment is needed to bring back the peace and harmony in the country. Way back, during the term of late President Ferdinand E. Marcos, the death penalty was strictly imposed, whether the sinner was wealthy and powerful or not. An example is the famous Chinese drug lord who was executed by the country's firing squad and televised it to the public. As a result, Filipinos were afraid to do crimes and the Philippine has even featured in New York Times magazine as one of the best countries to live in. In conclusion, with regard to what I think, I believe that death penalty must be implemented. It is because heinous crimes are very rampant these days, but we need to examine deliberately and intensely who the real crime-committer is.
In the world we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views concerning Capital Punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would regard it as beneficial;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
about it. In this essay, both views will
be discussed
.

There are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the death penalty for reasons such as police authorities could
be mistaken
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
the real culprit
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
a culprit
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. In fact, there has been a situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that the cops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to prove that they have solved the case by picking up the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they believed did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
not knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
actually did it. An example is the case of an Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
named Mr. Johnson. He
was prosecuted
for committing murder and
was hanged
in the middle of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
city-centre
in Melbourne,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
surprisingly
, a week after his execution, a hesitant witness came out and pointed to the Victorian police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
actually murdered the victim. This was a hot topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the public awareness, and this is the reason why such punishment is
being disregarded
.

On the other hand
, there are various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could give peace and order in the society.
For instance
, here in the Philippines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as rape, murder, homicide, robbery and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of it are
being committed
as evidence in Philippine TV news.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
believe that capital punishment
is needed
to bring back the peace and harmony in the country. Way back, during the term of late President Ferdinand E. Marcos, the death penalty was
strictly
imposed, whether the sinner was wealthy and powerful or not. An example is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Chinese drug lord
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was executed
by the country's firing squad and televised it to the public.
As a result
, Filipinos were afraid to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and the Philippine has even featured in New York Times magazine as one of the best countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
, with regard to what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, I believe that death penalty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rampant these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need to examine
deliberately
and
intensely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
the real crime-committer is.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss when, if ever capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for a crime. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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