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Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v.7

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 7
Ill-disciplined and ill-tempered school students and well-mannered students coexist in almost every schools, colleagues and universities. From my perspective, it could be more efficient for well-mannered pupils to study discretely, however, it can affect fatally to other ones. It is evident that naughty students have a bad effect on other students. For instance, they influence well-mannered students to smoke or drink alcohol. For this reason, the classes of these students must be separate. They do not just treat with these kinds of things also they make a lot of noise in the class and this lead to students to do not concentrate properly. Therefore every school's superintendent must make a discipline system and be strict on them. The classrooms get unsuitable because of such disruptive students who hamper a sound teaching environment. These troublesome students would often deter the teacher to teach in harmony. Their activities often include power exercising, getting involved in politics and other harmful activities that might affect the overall study environment of the classes and this is a serious issue in many schools nowadays. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks, too. The main disadvantage of this policy is that bad-mannered students will not be able to contact them and take examples from their attitudes. Namely, the most efficient way is that to take good behaviours from well-mannered students and with this policy, it will not be available. And this class will be unwanted by teachers. Thereby it will be boring for teachers to teach their lessons and this lesson will be inefficient for these students. If all the unmanageable and rough students are separated their level of wrongdoing will increase significantly. To sum up, while discrete classes might be very efficient and have a lot of advantages, it has drawbacks for naughty and bad-mannered students.
Ill-disciplined and ill-tempered school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
coexist in almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "school"?
schools
, colleagues and universities. From my perspective, it could be more efficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-mannered
pupils to study
discretely
,
however
, it can affect
fatally
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones.

It is evident that naughty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, they influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to smoke or drink alcohol.
For this reason
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be separate. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
treat with these kinds of things
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
noise in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and this lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do not concentrate
properly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
every school's superintendent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a discipline system and be strict on them. The classrooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unsuitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who hamper a sound teaching environment. These troublesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deter the teacher to teach in harmony. Their activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
include power exercising, getting involved in politics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
harmful activities that might affect the
overall
study environment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and this is a serious issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools nowadays.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, too. The main disadvantage of this policy is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not be able to contact them and take examples from their attitudes.
Namely
, the most efficient way is that to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and with this policy, it will not be available. And this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
be unwanted
by teachers. Thereby it will be boring for teachers to teach their lessons and this lesson will be inefficient for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If all the unmanageable and rough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are separated
their level of wrongdoing will increase
significantly
.

To sum up, while discrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages, it has drawbacks for naughty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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