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Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v.8

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 8
A society is a mixture of virtuous and evil minds, so is a school where you could find children of both natures. Now the question arises whether the mischievous students should be parted and educated from others? Is this going to benefit the other students in the class? In my opinion, this is not going to help, because such a distinctive line does not exist outside the realm of school. Considering school as a unit of society, where one's conscience is solely responsible for choosing the right or wrong path, students should be familiar with the sources of shoddy influences from their school life. Through exposure to such negative influences, the student gets equipped with the sense to prioritise his social contacts and interactions. Overcoming such hurdles in the schooling will help them deal with the sheer pressure of the society in future, where similar sources of carnage are plenty. These students should be well supported and guided by the teachers to avoid themselves from getting influenced by the black sheep of the herd. On the contrary, grouping all the disobedient and noisy students together would be like making the matter from bad to worse. For example, a bad habit from one student of the group is going to influence the rest of them, if one student smokes, probably rest are going to follow him. Moreover, as said earlier, no one is born as a criminal, rightly so, the causative factor behind their disruptive behaviour in these students should be identified and rectified by the school force. They should be given chance to get influenced by the goodness of their counterparts. I would like to conclude the discourse by stating that separation is never a solution for a unified society that we all dream of. Whether a good or bad student - all should be schooled together.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is a mixture of virtuous and evil minds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where you could find children of both natures.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the question arises whether the mischievous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be parted
and educated from others? Is this going to benefit the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
? In my opinion, this is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a distinctive line does not exist outside the realm of school.

Considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as a unit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, where one's conscience is
solely
responsible for choosing the right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be familiar with the sources of shoddy influences from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life. Through exposure to such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
equipped with the sense to
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
his social contacts and interactions. Overcoming such hurdles in the schooling will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them deal with the sheer pressure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, where similar sources of carnage are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well supported
and guided by the teachers to avoid themselves from getting influenced by the black sheep of the herd.

On the contrary
, grouping all the disobedient and noisy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
together would be like making the matter from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to worse.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
of the group is going to influence the rest of them, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
smokes,
probably
rest are going to follow him.
Moreover
, as said earlier, no one
is born
as a criminal,
rightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the causative factor behind their disruptive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be identified
and rectified by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
force. They should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the goodness of their counterparts.

I would like
to conclude
the discourse by stating that separation is never a solution for a unified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that we all dream of. Whether a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
all should
be schooled
together.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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