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Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v.6

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 6
One can safely assume that in every learning environment there is at least one student who is boisterous and has behavioural problems. Some people are of the opinion that they can have a negative impact on their colleagues. Putting them all together in a group is an effective way to create a conducive learning environment. However, apropos of the statement, I am in consummate discord with it. The bases for my opinion are psychological and academic. From a psychological viewpoint, it is widely spread that students who do not receive sufficient attention at home are more prone to the bad behavioural problem than those who do. As a result, they will use all means possible, namely behaving badly to obtain the much-needed attention from their teachers. Thus, grouping students with disruptive tendencies together is not the most appropriate solution as it will only make them feel more ostracised. From an academic point of view, putting disobedient students in one class will only limit their educational opportunities and further discourage the students. It will be hard for the teachers to educate the students when they are all the disobedient and at the end of the day, nothing will get done. It appears that combining the students, regardless of whether or not they're rebellious, will serve as a more effective solution. On the one hand, teachers will have an easier time controlling the student and figuring out what measures to take with each student. On the other hand, having a well-behaving and intelligent student in the class will serve as a role model for the disobedient students. Consequently, disobedient students will somehow feel compelled to emulate the role model and change for the better.
One can
safely
assume that in every learning environment there is at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who is boisterous and has
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that they can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their colleagues. Putting them all together in a group is an effective way to create a conducive learning environment.
However
, apropos of the statement, I am in consummate discord with it. The bases for my opinion are psychological and academic.

From a psychological viewpoint, it is
widely
spread that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not receive sufficient attention at home are more prone to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problem than those who do.
As a result
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all means possible,
namely
behaving
badly
to obtain the much-needed attention from their teachers.
Thus
, grouping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with disruptive tendencies together is not the most appropriate solution as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more
Possible spelling mistake. 'ostracised' is British English.
ostracised
.

From an academic point of view, putting disobedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limit their educational opportunities and
further
discourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the teachers to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they are all the disobedient and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, nothing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
done.

It appears that combining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, regardless of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they're rebellious, will serve as a more effective solution. On the one hand, teachers will have an easier time controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and figuring out what measures to take with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
On the other hand
, having a well-behaving and intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will serve as a role model for the disobedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Consequently
, disobedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will somehow feel compelled to emulate the role model and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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