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Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v.9

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 9
Schools are designed to educate new members of the society. This education includes the science, the culture and the rights. Today's schools do not arrange students to different classes for their behaviours. In my opinion, it would be efficient to make discrete classes according to students' moods and behaviours. There are many reasons for not to group disobedient and well-mannered ones. One of them is the discrimination that makes to feel anxiety. The noisy children will worry about their personality when we divide students into such groups. They will probably think their personal identity is inadequate to spend time with others and study together. And it is likely to appear the disbelief to themselves, thus it is a big threat to society. Secondly, because of this discrimination, they will not pay sufficient attention to their lessons which are not enough good now too. This may cause the failure of their forthcoming future and career. It can be also the reason of the creation of personality distortion and even existence of bad-intended criminals for future. Nonetheless, it does not mean that schools should allow the actions of disruptive students. Schools have to be strict to this kind of actions and must not allow these students to distract the successful students. To prevent this type of distractions there are some precautions at most schools. The discipline systems are exactly for these actions. For example, if any student disturbs their classmates or interrupts their teacher, this student is suspended from the school for a while. Thus, the students can grasp the value of their school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are designed
to educate new members of the society. This education includes the science, the culture and the rights.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

In my opinion, it would be efficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
discrete classes according to students' moods and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for not to group disobedient and well-mannered ones. One of them is the discrimination that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
to feel anxiety. The noisy children will worry about their personality when we divide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into such groups. They will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their personal identity is inadequate to spend time with others and study together. And it is likely to appear the disbelief to themselves,
thus
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to society.
Secondly
,
because of this
discrimination, they will not pay sufficient attention to their lessons which are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
too. This may cause the failure of their forthcoming future and career. It can be
also
the reason of the creation of personality distortion and even existence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-intended criminals for future.

Nonetheless, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the actions of disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be strict to this kind of actions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to distract the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this type of distractions there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions at most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The discipline systems are exactly for these actions.
For example
, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
disturbs their classmates or interrupts their teacher, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is suspended
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for a while.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can grasp the value of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. v. 9

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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