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A company has announced that it wishes to build a new factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v.2

A company has announced that it wishes to build a new factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 2
I, personally, support the decision the decision of building the new factory in the premises of the community. The decision has tremendous implications on the community. There are far more positive than the negative influences of the factory on the community. The factory will help in economic growth of the society depended on it and thus pave way for an overall healthy economic growth. It will provide a stable income for the families depending on it. As the income will grow, it will create a more stable life for the residents and lead to an overall development of the people. Along with it, the company will also lead to the development of the area in which it is located. By providing better public amenities like schools, public transportation, etc, will enhance the value of locality and create a sustainable growth for the future generations to come. An excellent example of such type of development is emergence of Jamshedpur. It came into existence as a well-planned city, thanks to the contributions of The Tata Industries. The company had set up a steel manufacturing plant in the locality. As the factory grew, it led to the development of Jamshedpur as it received multiple benefits in the form of infrastructure, transportation, civic amenities like schools, parks, etc. The community depending on the factory, too, had a healthy growth because of the strong efforts put by the company towards its people. The efforts taken by the company has borne fruits and Jamshedpur is considered to be one of the best planned cities in India. Though the factory may have multiple positive implications on the society, it still has some adverse effects on its surroundings. The environment may get affected badly if no proper attention is paid to the effluents discharged by the factory. It may result in bad air quality or the degraded quality of water to its people. But, this all depends on how concerned the company is to the outcomes. If the company does care about the surroundings, then it will ensure that no inimical actions are taken by it. Hence, it can be said that setting up a factory surely improves the lifestyle of the community in which it is located and can be a vital contributor to the overall development of the society.
I,
personally
, support
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "the decision".
the decision the decision
of building the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
in the premises of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. The decision has tremendous implications on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. There are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
on the community.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the society depended on it and
thus
pave way for an
overall
healthy economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. It will provide a stable income for the families depending on it. As the income will grow, it will create a more stable life for the residents and lead to an
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Along with it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will
also
lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the area in which it
is located
. By providing better public amenities like schools, public transportation, etc, will enhance the value of locality and create a sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
for the future generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. An excellent example of such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is emergence of Jamshedpur. It came into existence as a well-planned city, thanks to the contributions of The Tata Industries. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
had set up a steel manufacturing plant in the locality. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
grew, it led to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of Jamshedpur as it received multiple benefits in the form of infrastructure, transportation, civic amenities like schools, parks, etc. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
, too, had a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the strong efforts put by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
towards its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The efforts taken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has borne fruits and Jamshedpur
is considered
to be one of the best planned cities in India.

Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
may have multiple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications on the society, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects on its surroundings. The environment may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
if no proper attention
is paid
to the effluents discharged by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
. It may result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
air quality or the degraded quality of water to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this all depends on how concerned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is to the outcomes. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
does care about the surroundings, then it will ensure that no inimical actions
are taken
by it.

Hence
, it can
be said
that setting up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in which it
is located
and can be a vital contributor to the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A company has announced that it wishes to build a new factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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