Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aids to poor countries. v.2

Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aids to poor countries. v. 2
There are many poor countries in this world and they are mostly located in the African and Asian regions, such as Liberia, Zimbabwe, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Sudan. It is a fact most of these countries are depending on the supports of the developed countries. These international aids have their own benefits and drawbacks, and the following essay will discuss them in details. To begin with, giving supports to third world countries bring some advantages for both the giver and the recipient countries. It gives benefits for countries that could give international aids, as they have the opportunity show their kindness to other countries. Showing these positive attitudes could change the world into a better place and improve the world peace. As for the recipient countries, the help would positively affect the social economic conditions of their people. For instance, these financial supports could be used to purchase some foods for the starving residents. On the other hand, despite the positive things of international supports, there are some negative things that arose as well. Firstly, these supports have made the recipient countries people become lazy and spoil. As they realise that they will be supported from developed and developing countries, they do not want to have changes and improvements in their lives. Secondly, many of the support funds are not strictly and properly monitored. As a result, most of the funds are being corrupted by local authorities. In conclusion, providing international aids to third world countries has its own advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, as a social creature, people should help each other, though we might come from different races, ethnics or languages. Therefore, it is essential for advanced countries to help poor nations, but the support should be strictly monitored to ensure that the funds are allocated properly.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they are
mostly
located in the African and Asian regions, such as Liberia, Zimbabwe, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Sudan. It is a fact most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aids have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks, and the following essay will discuss them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
to third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for both the giver and the recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It gives benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that could give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aids, as they have the opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their kindness to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Showing these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a better place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace. As for the recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
would
positively
affect the social economic conditions of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, these financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foods for the starving residents.

On the other hand
, despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things that arose
as well
.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
have made the recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become lazy and spoil. As they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they will
be supported
from developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they do not want to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and improvements in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
funds are not
strictly
and
properly
monitored.
As a result
, most of the funds are
being corrupted
by local authorities.

In conclusion
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aids to third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, as a social creature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other, though we might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
races, ethnics or languages.
Therefore
, it is essential for advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
should be
strictly
monitored to ensure that the funds
are allocated
properly
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aids to poor countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts