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Happiness is considered very important in life. v.22

Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 22
It is true that happiness is a prerequisite to people’s quality of life, although an actual definition of happiness seems to be difficult to describe, there are various factors which considered being crucial in acquiring happiness. It is quite laborious to find out an actual definition for the term HAPPINESS. The reason for this is that happiness means different thing to different people. Most people may have at least one hobby or a treat which could help them to uplift their spirits instantly. While for some people, it might be their job or a career which brings them a sense of fulfilment. At the same time, for others, personal belongings are paramount of a serene life. To take an example of a web designer, Richard Jackson, who believes that the key element for a pleasurable life is a close relationship. In my case, happiness is when I am taking my time out of a hectic routine to spend a quality time along with my family. There do seem to be some common needs that we all share in regards to experiencing or achieving pleasure. Firstly, investing in personal relationships can give a broad (long) way to boost up people’s level of happiness. For instance, spending even a fraction of time from a whole day with your children while doing some share activities could help to build up an immense mutual understanding as well as an inner satisfaction in them, which is a subtle precursor to bring in levelled happiness. Secondly, a prestigious line of work could help to raise people’s contentment by allowing them to have ample amount of wages. As a result, they can entertain themselves with all the basic necessities of life without worrying about any financial distress. To sum up, due to a nature of happiness it is not that easy to describe it in one specific sentence. We can merely acknowledge several factors which are mandatory to some extent in seeking happiness.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a prerequisite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, although an actual definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
seems to be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
, there are various factors which considered being crucial in acquiring happiness.

It is quite laborious to find out an actual definition for the term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAPPINESS
.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have at least one hobby or a treat which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to uplift their spirits
instantly
. While for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it might be their job or a career which brings them a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, for others, personal belongings are paramount of a serene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To take an example of a web designer, Richard Jackson, who believes that the key element for a pleasurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a close relationship. In my case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is when I am taking my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
out of a hectic routine to spend a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
along with my family.

There do seem to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common needs that we all share
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
experiencing or achieving pleasure.
Firstly
, investing in personal relationships can give a broad (long) way to boost up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For instance
, spending even a fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from a whole day with your children while doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
share activities could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build up an immense mutual understanding
as well
as an inner satisfaction in them, which is a subtle precursor to bring in levelled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Secondly
, a prestigious line of work could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
contentment by allowing them to have ample amount of wages.
As a result
, they can entertain themselves with all the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without worrying about any financial distress.

To sum up, due to a nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
it is not that easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
it in one specific sentence. We can
merely
acknowledge several factors which are mandatory to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent in seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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