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Happiness is considered very important in life. v.21

Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 21
Everybody desires to be happy in life and interestingly the requirements to be cheerful vary from person to person. This is the main reason why defining happiness is not that easy. However, there are some common things that are regarded important to be delighted in life. Defining happiness is quite challenging because the requirements to achieve it is not fixed. While someone dreams that his economic freedom would make him happy, a very rich man dreams about having a caring family to be happy. Similarly, a couple who do not have any child think about having a baby all the time and would be ready to do anything for that. On the contrary, many poor families, mostly in poor countries, find more children to be their burden. The practical world is quite puzzling and the humankind wants more than they have. When a person’s aim or expectation is fulfilled, he wants more and this is a never ending process. This is why happiness is not a simple word that we can describe with a neat and precise definition. However, there are some vital factors that are commonly regarded as the main ingredients to be happy in life. First of all, physical and psychological soundness is very important to be happy and people can truly realise that when they get sick. Economic freedom - ability to fulfil the needs in life, is the second most important factor to be happy, in my opinion. It is often said that being happy with an empty stomach is not possible. Thirdly, having a happy family where members love each other and care for them is considered important to be in peace in life. It is usually rare to find a happy person who does not have a pleasant family. Individual freedom is also considered a great influence to be happy in life. Someone without personal freedom cannot feel the happiness. Most importantly, being contented in life is the key to being happy. If someone can be contented with whatever little he has, he will be happy in life. In conclusion, though there is no easy and precise definition of happiness, common attributes like sound health, caring family, freedom and personal contentment are regarded to be key ingredients to be happy in life.
Everybody desires to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
interestingly
the requirements to be cheerful vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. This is the main reason why defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not that easy.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common things that
are regarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
be delighted
in life.

Defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is quite challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the requirements to achieve it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
. While someone dreams that his economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
dreams about having a caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Similarly
, a couple who do not have any child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about having a baby all the time and would be ready to do anything for that.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
mostly
in poor countries, find more children to be their burden. The practical world is quite puzzling and the humankind wants more than they have. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
aim or expectation
is fulfilled
, he wants more and this is a never ending process. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not a simple word that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
with a neat and precise definition.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vital factors that are
commonly
regarded as the main ingredients to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, physical and psychological soundness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
truly
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick. Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
ability to fulfil the needs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, is the second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, in my opinion. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with an empty stomach is not possible.
Thirdly
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
each other and care for them
is considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to be in peace in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
usually
rare to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who does not have a pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is
also
considered a great influence to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Someone without personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
cannot feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Most
importantly
,
being contented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the key to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. If someone can
be contented
with whatever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
he has, he will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in life.

In conclusion
, though there is no easy and precise definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, common attributes like sound health, caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and personal contentment
are regarded
to be key ingredients to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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