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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be te responsibility of teachers, while others think that it is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.5

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be te responsibility of teachers, while others think that it is the role of parents. v. 5
Discipline is considered to be a major issue in nowadays schools, and it is increasing with time, for which some people suggest that it is teacher’s responsibility to maintain discipline in young generation, while other thought that parents can play a major role in children’s behavior. In my opinion both have equal role and responsibility. Children spent most of its time in homes and both father and mother can play an important role in the character building of a child, and a child learnt those things which were taught by their parents to him/her, for example, if parents tell to their childrens how to talk with the elders, he/she will follow them from the very beginning, and will follow it through out their life, so parents have a major role in their character and discipline building. On the other hand, teachers prepare their students for the challenges of modern world, because they spent the most important and learning period of their life with their teachers. So anything which were asked by the teachers to obey are follow, the students will follow them. For example, if the teacher told them about the dangerous effects of smoking on health, they will follow them and will thought a lot about these effects before smoking. In my opinion, both parents and teachers have equal role in maintaining discipline among children in schools of modern world, with their cooperation and coordination with each other these problems of discipline can b solved very easily.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Discipline
is considered
to be a major issue
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
schools, and it is increasing with time, for which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
responsibility to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
in young generation, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can play a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in children’s behavior. In my opinion both have equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
and responsibility.

Children spent most of its time in homes and both father and mother can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the character building of a child, and a child
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
those things which
were taught
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to him/her,
for example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens how
to talk with the elders, he/she will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning, and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
it
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in their character and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
building.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
prepare their students for the challenges of modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spent the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and learning period of their life with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
anything which
were asked
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to obey are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
, the students will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects of smoking on health, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
a lot about these effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
smoking.

In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
among children in schools of modern world, with their cooperation and coordination with each other these problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
can b solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be te responsibility of teachers, while others think that it is the role of parents. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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