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The trend of on line shopping is increasing significantly. What effect does it have on the environment and society in general. v.1

The trend of on line shopping is increasing significantly. What effect does it have on the environment and society in general. v. 1
It is undisputed that shopping has become an indispensable part of everyone' s life. Presently, the use of on line shopping is tremendously increasing around the world. Here, I would like to account the effect of this happening on the environment and society. There are manifold negative outcomes of on line shopping on the community. First and foremost, a massive number of people have become extravagant on account of e-shopping. To demonstrate, nowadays people tendency to visit on line shopping websites where they are fully attracted towards astonishing product that are shown in the great packages. Besides that, the websites influence the consumer' s buying behaviour by offering heavy discounts, special offers such buy one get one free. consequently, people become intend to buy unnecessary products. Further emphasizing on my point of view, buying excessive things direct towards the problem of rubbish. As an evidence, people buy more and more new things that are packed into the plastic boxes and wrappers. Ultimately, such wrappers and plastic boxes are deliberately thrown on the vacant lands besides reusing it. In addition to it, a considerable rise in the amount of rubbish degrades the quality of environment. To the specific, non-biodegradable things remain on the land for the prolong period decline the quality and fertility of soil. As a result, rubbish problem has become the serious concern in modern societies. To recapitulate. undeniably, on line shopping has numerous effects. It is clear that it has become rising problem on societies. So that, people and government should take proactive measures to eliminate this problem.
It
is undisputed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an indispensable part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyone&
#039; s life.
Presently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
tremendously
increasing around the world. Here, I would like to account the effect of this happening on the environment and society.

There are manifold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the community.
First
and foremost, a massive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
extravagant on account of e-shopping. To demonstrate, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tendency to visit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites where they are
fully
attracted towards astonishing product that
are shown
in the great packages.
Besides
that, the websites influence the
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumer&
#039; s buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by offering heavy discounts, special offers such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one free.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary products.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, buying excessive things direct towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of rubbish. As an evidence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more and more new things that
are packed
into the plastic boxes and wrappers.
Ultimately
, such wrappers and plastic boxes are
deliberately
thrown on the vacant lands
besides
reusing it.

In addition
to it, a considerable rise in the amount of rubbish degrades the quality of environment. To the specific, non-biodegradable things remain on the land for
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'prolong' is correct. If 'prolong' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the prolong
period decline the quality and fertility of soil.
As a result
, rubbish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the serious concern in modern societies.

To recapitulate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
undeniably
, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has numerous effects. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
on societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take proactive measures to eliminate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The trend of on line shopping is increasing significantly. What effect does it have on the environment and society in general. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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