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Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v.6

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v. 6
Art plays a vital role in a person’s life. It is a form of expression in which we express our thoughts, opinions and views. It is a way in which the culture of the society is reflected, for example by making sculptures, through music, drama and many more. This essay will discuss about the importance of the art in children’s life and how it should be encouraged in their lives by balancing other subjects in schools. The art can motivate a child to boost his skills and abilities by being creative in their real life. This can bring forward their talent in front of the society and can help them to showcase their inner strengths to the world. Therefore, this leads them to become more imaginative and analytical thinker. The art shows the creativity of a person not only in the form of drawings, but also in the way how he portrays his surroundings. Thus, art should be a compulsory subject in the school time. It is observed that parents and teachers force their kids to focus on the major subjects, but they forget the importance of the art in their daily routine. For instance, it helps the infants to express their emotions in the form of making drawings. Studies is not the only reason for success, art itself bridges the gap for many people on its own. In conclusion, a proper balance should be made between both art & other subjects, so that the importance of both the things can go along together. Art helps us to express our thoughts and be creative whereas subjects help us to move forward academically. In my opinion, both plays an equal part in our lives and cannot be ignored.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
plays a vital role in a person’s life. It is a form of expression in which we express our thoughts, opinions and views. It is a way in which the culture of the society
is reflected
,
for example
by making sculptures, through music, drama and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in children’s life and how it should
be encouraged
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by balancing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in schools.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can motivate a child to boost his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities by being creative in their real life. This can bring forward their talent in front of the society and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to showcase their inner strengths to the world.
Therefore
, this leads them to become more imaginative and analytical thinker. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the creativity of a person not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the form of drawings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the way how he portrays his surroundings.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should be a compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the school time.

It
is observed
that parents and teachers force their kids to focus on the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they forget the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their daily routine.
For instance
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the infants to express their emotions in the form of making drawings. Studies is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason for success,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
itself bridges the gap for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In conclusion
, a proper balance should
be made
between both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
& other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the importance of both the things can go along together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to express our thoughts and be creative whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward
academically
. In my opinion, both plays an equal part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than subjects? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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