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Digital communication technology, such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Digital communication technology, such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. with this opinion? v. 2
Undoubtedly advancement in technology, improved the way people connect with each other. However, does it really change the type of relationship? In this essay, I will argue that while digital contact may be easy and convenient, it is no substitute for face-to-face conversation. Compared to the past, technology reduce the distance between humans. Earlier, they have to send a postcard to communicate, which took months to reach the receiver. Now individuals just have to pick their phone and dial the number. Secondly, Thirty years ago, it is far expensive to get in touch with people, who lives in a different country. However, various social media apps such as Skype, Whatsapp makes it easier for a person to connect with others without worrying about physical distances between them. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Time of India, majority of people agree that they would prefer face-to-face contact whenever possible. While, machinery made it easier to communicate, it has not improved connection and relationship among people in any meaningful way. Email, Facebook can never replace face-to-face conversation. As most of the conversation is non-verbal and we have to rely on body language & facial expression and people cannot imagine what actually going on. Connection among people depends on true communication and this is possible only when people face-to-face. To conclude, there is no doubt that technology makes life easier and now people can easily communicate with others, although this is not the true communication and people are still missing one-to-one communication and I agree on this.
Undoubtedly
advancement in technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect with each other.
However
, does it
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the type of relationship? In this essay, I will argue that while digital contact may be easy and convenient, it is no substitute for face-to-face conversation.

Compared to the past, technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the distance between humans. Earlier, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a postcard to communicate, which took months to reach the receiver.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pick their phone and dial the number.
Secondly
, Thirty years ago, it is far expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country.
However
, various social media apps such as Skype,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for a person to connect with others without worrying about physical distances between them. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Time of India,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they would prefer face-to-face contact whenever possible.

While, machinery made it easier to communicate, it has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
connection and relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any meaningful way. Email, Facebook can never replace face-to-face conversation. As most of the conversation is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
non-verbal and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on body language & facial expression and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot imagine what actually going on. Connection among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
depends
on true communication and this is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face-to-face.

To conclude
, there is no doubt that technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
communicate with others, although this is not the true communication and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
missing one-to-one communication and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Digital communication technology, such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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