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Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give financial support to local film industries? v.2

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give financial support to local film industries? v. 2
These days, film industries develop faster and faster, and some are prone to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. There are several reasons why this is the case, and I maintain that governments should promote the local film industry by subsidizing to mitigate this bias. There are two justifiable reasons why some have a tendency to watch overseas films. In the first place, foreign films are invested lots of salary by governments or sponsors and used cutting-edge technologies. There are a myriad of blockbusters of foreign film industries used latest technologies such as computer animation or special effects in order to attract filmgoers. In addition, these films are made by professional film crews, and filmmakers also expend a great deal of money for marketing. That explains why foreign films can take audiences by storm. In the second place, films from other countries, especially developed ones have outstanding plots. A case in point is that Cinderella of the Walt Disney Company conveys a meaningful message: have courage and be kind, which inspires many people and helps them learn tolerance and cherish life. In my view, Authorities should improve the local produced films by giving financial support for two main reasons. A first point is that thanks to governments’ backing, local film crews can enhance the quality of movies before releasing them to the public. For example, if film producers have money, they can apply technologies in order to create better effects such as visual and sound ones. Besides, they can pay money for professional actors and actresses in their country or foreign states. Another perceived ground is to cooperate with foreign film industries. With the financial backing of the governments, filmmakers or casts will have a chance to expose to the talented directors, producers, actors, actresses, etc. In other countries, so they can improve plots and acting skills. To sum up, there are some reasons that explain why some prefer to watch foreign films, and governments should support wealth in order to improve the locally produced film so as to cater to audiences and compete with a broad motion picture industry.
These days, film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
develop faster and faster, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films
rather
than
locally
produced ones. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why this is the case, and I maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should promote the local film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
by subsidizing to mitigate this bias.

There are two justifiable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
overseas films. In the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films
are invested
lots of salary by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or sponsors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cutting-edge technologies. There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of blockbusters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
latest technologies such as computer animation or special effects in order to attract
Possible spelling mistake found.
filmgoers
.
In addition
, these films
are made
by professional film crews, and filmmakers
also
expend a great deal of money for marketing. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films can take audiences by storm. In the second place, films from other countries,
especially
developed ones have outstanding plots. A case in point is that Cinderella of the Walt Disney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
conveys a meaningful message: have courage and be kind, which inspires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them learn tolerance and cherish life.

In my view, Authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the local produced films by giving financial support for two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. A
first
point is that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
backing, local film crews can enhance the quality of movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
releasing them to the public.
For example
, if film producers have money, they can apply technologies in order to create better effects such as visual and sound ones.
Besides
, they can pay money for professional actors and actresses in their country or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
states. Another perceived ground is to cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. With the financial backing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, filmmakers or casts will have a chance to expose to the talented directors, producers, actors, actresses, etc. In other countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
plots and acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should support wealth in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
locally
produced film
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
cater to audiences and compete with a broad motion picture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give financial support to local film industries? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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