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Different people have different approaches to life. Some prefer daily routines while others enjoy having new experiences. Which category do you fall into and why? v.1

Different people have different approaches to life. Some prefer daily routines while others enjoy having new experiences. Which category do you fall into and why? v. 1
Different people have different approaches to life. Whereas some people like to have daily routines with everything in life going unchanged, others embrace all the new experiences that life has to offer, I consider myself an adventurous person and therefore look forward to new experiences. To get the best out of life, one needs to be open-minded, to go ahead and try new things and to conquer challenges. New discoveries in life are only made by going out of daily routine to have new experiences. For example, Christopher Columbus only discovered the United States of America by going on a voyage to explore the world around him. Today, USA is considered one of the world’s superpowers and has been a place for inventions and new discoveries. Individuals who prefer to have same daily routine usually do not get the best out of life. For instance, scientists of neuropsychology have found a correlation between boredom and depression. Boredom has been found to be commoner in individuals that go through the same life experiences day in day out. This leads to a decrease in the level of endorphins in the brain which is considered to be the “happy mood hormone” thereby predisposing those individuals to depression. Individuals who do not like to try new experiences do not stand out in life. A clear cut example is the founder and CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He decided to drop off school to start a software company and today he is one of the richest and successful people in the world. In conclusion, being open minded and embracing new life experiences can only make one a better person. This is the best way to derive pleasure in life and makes one versatile and diverse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
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people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches to
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life
. Whereas
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to have daily routines with everything in
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life
going unchanged, others embrace all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer, I consider myself an adventurous person and
therefore
look forward to
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new
experiences.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, one needs to be open-minded, to go ahead and try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and to conquer challenges.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
discoveries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made by going out of daily routine to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For example
, Christopher Columbus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discovered the United States of America by going on a voyage to explore the world around him.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, USA
is considered
one of the world’s superpowers and has been a place for inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
discoveries.

Individuals who prefer to have same daily routine
usually
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, scientists of neuropsychology have found a correlation between boredom and depression. Boredom has
been found
to be commoner in individuals that go through the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
day in day out. This leads to a decrease in the level of endorphins in the brain which
is considered
to be the “happy mood hormone” thereby predisposing those individuals to depression.

Individuals who do not like to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
do not stand out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
example is the founder and CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He decided to drop off school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
he is one of the richest and successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world.

In conclusion
, being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
and embracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one a better person. This is the best way to derive pleasure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one versatile and diverse.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Different people have different approaches to life. Some prefer daily routines while others enjoy having new experiences. Which category do you fall into and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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