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Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
Nowadays, one of the most challenging of the modern society is that several people have a hard time keeping up with a healthy diet, which cause a lot of disease such as obesity, heart attack, and high blood pressure. Undoubtedly, there are many reasons why this problem is becoming crucial these days. Given that the current world most people are living in a hectic lifestyle and have no time to take care of themselves. When it comes to eating habits, they tend to choose for something easy and quick so they can go on with their life. For instance, some people need to be at work early, they will most likely grab breakfast at any fast food places since it does not take a long time to get it and they can also eat them in a car while they are commuting to work. Moreover, fast food is cheaper than a salad at most places. Although people may know that fast food is not healthy, but they have no choice but to consume that because they cannot afford to spend a lot of money on food. As it's hard as it sounds, people should really take precautions for what they consume because it will affect them sooner or later to some extent. What could help to maintain a healthy style is people should spare some time to work out and cook healthy breakfast. For example, they can wake up 30 minutes earlier than the usual time so that they can take sometimes to cook healthy. This is not to stay healthy, but also will reduce unnecessary spending on food. In conclusion, I believe spending some time to take care of yourself is worth it. It requires discipline, but is it better than spend time in the hospital when you unable to undo what you have done to stay healthy.
Nowadays, one of the most challenging of the modern society is that several
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people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
keeping up with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet, which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disease such as obesity, heart attack, and high blood pressure.
Undoubtedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why this problem is becoming crucial these days.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world most
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people
are living in a hectic lifestyle and have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take care of themselves. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to eating habits, they tend to choose for something easy and quick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can go on with their life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be at work early, they will most likely grab breakfast at any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food places since it does not take a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they can
also
eat them in a car while they are commuting to work.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food is cheaper than a salad at most places. Although
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people
may know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food is not
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healthy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to consume that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot afford to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on food.

As it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as it sounds,
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people
should
really
take precautions for what they consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will affect them sooner or later to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. What could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain a
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healthy
style is
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people
should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work out and cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
breakfast.
For example
, they can wake up 30 minutes earlier than the usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. This is not to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unnecessary spending on food.

In conclusion
, I believe spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take care of yourself is worth it. It requires discipline,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is it better than spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the hospital when
Did you mean "you are" or "you were"?
you
unable to undo what you have done to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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