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Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. v. 2
It is true that the prevalence of technology leads to devastating consequences for the environment. While some individuals claim that a simpler lifestyle can solve these issues, I have a conviction that people still can utilize technology to address such problems. On the one hand, in order to tackle the destructive environmental effects caused by technology advancements, human beings should accept a simpler lifestyle. Nowadays, by the advent of cars that consume fossil fuel, the commutation of humans becomes more convenient; however, such private transport emits a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion. Therefore, in order to alleviate environmental degradation, people should change their lifestyle into a simpler one by using environmentally friendly transportation such as a bicycle. Not only does it preserve the environment intact, but it can also be used as a way of exercise to strengthen the people’s health condition. On the other hand, I side with those who believe that the utilization of technology can still resolve environmental problems. A more favourable solution is to invest in greener technologies that can mitigate much of the environmental deterioration already done. Scientists have already started working on them and constituted several considerable accomplishments. For example, it is the invention of electric trains. They induce much less air pollution than diesel engines. The cars running on electricity instead of fossil fuel are another auspicious technology that can tackle environmental degradation. Likewise, greener energy sources like wind and solar may soon replace conventional energy sources like coal. In conclusion, I would argue that it is unnecessary for human beings to change their lifestyle into a simpler one, as they can make use of technological advancements to tackle the environmental issues.
It is true that the prevalence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads to devastating consequences for the environment. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
can solve these issues, I have a conviction that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
can utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to address such problems.

On the one hand, in order to tackle the destructive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
effects caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancements, human beings should accept a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Nowadays, by the advent of cars that consume fossil fuel, the commutation of humans becomes more convenient;
however
, such private transport emits a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion.
Therefore
, in order to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simpler
one by using
environmentally
friendly transportation such as a bicycle. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it preserve the environment intact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a way of exercise to strengthen the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health condition.

On the other hand
, I side with those who believe that the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
still
resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. A more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
solution is to invest in greener
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
that can mitigate much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
deterioration already done. Scientists have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working on them and constituted several considerable accomplishments.
For example
, it is the invention of electric trains. They induce much less air pollution than diesel engines. The cars running on electricity
instead
of fossil fuel are another auspicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that can tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation.
Likewise
, greener energy sources like wind and solar may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
replace conventional energy sources like coal.

In conclusion
, I would argue that it is unnecessary for human beings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simpler
one, as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technological advancements to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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