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Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both view and give your own opinion. v.4

Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. v. 4
People have argued about the negative effect of technology on the environment. A group of people thinks that rather than following the development of technology, we should have a simpler way of life. However, others disagree as they believe that technology could address environmental issues. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the rapid development of technology has caused some environmental problems. Many inventions are beneficial for human beings, but they have the catastrophic effect on the environment. For example, the invention of cars that use fossil fuel has caused some serious effect on the world. The cars produce carbon monoxide which is not only dangerous for living creatures, but it also becomes the main cause of global warming. Therefore, some people believe that we should change our lifestyle into a simpler one. One of the ways is by using a friendly environmental transportation such as using a bicycle to commute. The bicycle is not only safe for the environment, but it could also be used as a way of exercise. On the other hand, other people believe that technology could be used as a way to resolve environmental problems. As we can see that one of the biggest threat to the earth’s civilization is the usage of a plastic bag. The waste of plastic bags has become a big issue, as they could only be composed for about 100 years. However, with the new technology, scientists have found a new way of producing plastic bags. With the new formula, plastic bags could be recycled; therefore it would resolve one of the environmental issues. In my opinion, I do believe that technology is beneficial for human beings if we used it wisely and proportionately. I personally believe that researchers for new technology should be continued, as we need to have improvements in life, but the government should review and monitor these researchers properly.
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People
have argued about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on the environment. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
rather
than following the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we should have a simpler way of life.
However
, others disagree as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the rapid development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
inventions are beneficial for human beings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the catastrophic effect on the environment.
For example
, the invention of cars that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fossil fuel has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious effect on the world. The cars produce carbon monoxide which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for living creatures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
becomes the main cause of global warming.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle into a simpler one. One of the ways is by using a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
transportation such as using a bicycle to commute. The bicycle is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safe for the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a way of exercise.

On the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a way to resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that one of the biggest threat to the earth’s civilization is the usage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
. The waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue, as they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be composed
for about 100 years.
However
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, scientists have found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
formula,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
could
be recycled
;
therefore
it would resolve one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

In my opinion, I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is beneficial for human beings if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it
wisely
and
proportionately
. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that researchers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be continued
, as we need to have improvements in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should review and monitor these researchers
properly
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution in these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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