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Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution. v.2

Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution. v. 2
AUTOMOBILE HAS BECOME VITAL REQUIREMENT IN EVERYONE'S DAILY LIFE. HOWEVER, THE VEHICLES MIGHT CAUSE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND LIVING ANIMAL ESPECIALLY CARS. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHAT ARE THE MAJOR MENACE IT MAY CREATE AND SECONDLY, HOW CAN WE TACKLE THOSE PROBLEMS WITH THE INDIVIDUAL AND GOVERNMENT SUPPORT. ON THE ONE SIDE, THE CAR CREATE A HEALTH ISSUES MOSTLY FOR THE YOUNGER PEOPLE WHERE THEY HAVE THEIR ENTIRE LIVELIHOOD TO LIVE. IF THEY GET FTINESS PROBLEM SINCE THEIR ADULTHOOD THEN THYE WOULD SUFFER A LOT LATER IN LIVELIHOOD. AS A RESULT, SOME PROBLEM THEY GENETICALLY TRANSFER IN THEIR OFFSPRING. THIS TREND WOULD CONTINUE TO FURTHER GENERATION. FOR EXAMPLE, HEALTH DEPARTMNT OF THE INDIA DID A SURVEY LAST YEAR AND REVEALED THAT 60% OF THE OLDER GENERATION HAS SOME KIND OF FOTNESS ISSUES DUE TO THE CAR DRIVING AND THEIR GRAND DON ORDAUGHTER ALSO HAS THAT ISSUES. NONTHELESS, CAR OFFERS A MORE ADVANTAGES TO THE HUMAN AND MADE THE HUMAN LIFE MKRE EFFORTLESS THAN EVER. ON THE OTHER SIDE, BEST WAY TO SOLVE THIS ISSUE IS TO BRING AN AWARNESS IN THE PUBLIC BY SOME CAMPIAN OR ORGANISING THE AWARNESS PROGRAM. THIS WOULD DECLINE THE HERIDETIORY DESIASE TRANSFORMATION TO THE FUTURE GENERATION. THUS, THE TOMORROW'S YOUTH WOULD BE FIT AND FINE TO LIVE THIER LIVELIHOOD AND CONTRIBUTE THIER PRECIOUS TIME FOR THE SOCIETY'S GOODWILL. FOR INSTANCE, THE CANADIAN HEALTH CENTER'S DATA SHOWN THAT THEY HAVE 60% LESS REPORTED MEDICAL ISSUES BECAUSE OF THE VEHICLE DRIVING IN COMPARISON TO OTHER DEVELOPED COUNTRY. CONSEQUENSLTY, CANADIAN CIVILIAN ARE MORE INFORMED ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF DRIVING MOIRE FREQUENTLY. IN CONCLUSION, VEHICLE INDEED A MAJOR NEEDED THING TO LIVE DAILY LIFE STRESS FREE FOR HE HUMAN. NEVERTHELESS, AS PER THE NATURE'S LAW. EVERYTHING HAS GOOD AND BAD SIDE, IN THE WAY VEHICLE ALSO HAS NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THE HUMAN BODY. BUT, THEY USE AS PER THE REQUIREMENT THAN THEY COULD PREVENT THE SUCH DISEASES FOR THEM AND FOR THEIR CHIOLDREN AS WELL.
AUTOMOBILE HAS BECOME VITAL REQUIREMENT IN EVERYONE'S DAILY LIFE.
HOWEVER
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
VEHICLES
MIGHT CAUSE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SERIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUES
TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND LIVING ANIMAL
ESPECIALLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CARS
.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHAT ARE THE MAJOR MENACE IT MAY CREATE AND
SECONDLY
, HOW CAN WE TACKLE THOSE PROBLEMS WITH THE INDIVIDUAL AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
SUPPORT.

ON THE ONE SIDE, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
CREATE A HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUES
MOSTLY
FOR THE YOUNGER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
WHERE THEY HAVE THEIR ENTIRE LIVELIHOOD TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
. IF THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
Possible spelling mistake found.
FTINESS
PROBLEM SINCE THEIR ADULTHOOD THEN
Possible spelling mistake found.
THYE
WOULD SUFFER A LOT LATER IN LIVELIHOOD.
AS A RESULT
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
PROBLEM THEY
GENETICALLY
TRANSFER IN THEIR OFFSPRING. THIS TREND WOULD CONTINUE TO
FURTHER
GENERATION.
FOR EXAMPLE
, HEALTH
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEPARTMNT
OF THE INDIA DID A SURVEY LAST YEAR AND REVEALED THAT 60% OF THE OLDER GENERATION HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
KIND OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOTNESS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUES
DUE TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
DRIVING AND THEIR GRAND DON
Possible spelling mistake found.
ORDAUGHTER
ALSO
HAS THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUES
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
NONTHELESS
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
OFFERS A MORE ADVANTAGES TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
AND MADE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
LIFE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MKRE
EFFORTLESS THAN EVER.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
A determiner is probably missing here: ", the BEST".
, BEST
WAY TO SOLVE THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUE
IS TO BRING AN
Possible spelling mistake found.
AWARNESS
IN THE PUBLIC BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
Possible spelling mistake found.
CAMPIAN
OR
Possible spelling mistake. 'ORGANISING' is British English.
ORGANISING
THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
AWARNESS
PROGRAM. THIS WOULD DECLINE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
HERIDETIORY
Possible spelling mistake found.
DESIASE
TRANSFORMATION TO THE FUTURE GENERATION.
THUS
, THE TOMORROW'S YOUTH WOULD
BE FIT
AND FINE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
Possible spelling mistake found.
THIER
LIVELIHOOD AND CONTRIBUTE
Possible spelling mistake found.
THIER
PRECIOUS TIME FOR THE SOCIETY'S GOODWILL.
FOR INSTANCE
, THE CANADIAN HEALTH CENTER'S DATA SHOWN THAT THEY HAVE 60% LESS REPORTED MEDICAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ISSUES
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
VEHICLE
DRIVING
IN COMPARISON
TO OTHER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DEVELOPED COUNTRY
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONSEQUENSLTY
, CANADIAN CIVILIAN ARE MORE INFORMED ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF DRIVING
'MOIRE' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "moiré"
MOIRE
FREQUENTLY
.

IN CONCLUSION
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
VEHICLE
INDEED
A MAJOR NEEDED THING TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
DAILY LIFE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
FREE FOR
Did you mean "the"?
HE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
.
NEVERTHELESS
, AS PER THE NATURE'S LAW. EVERYTHING HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BAD
SIDE, IN THE WAY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
VEHICLE
ALSO
HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
EFFECT ON THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
BODY.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
AS PER THE REQUIREMENT THAN THEY COULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PREVENT
THE SUCH DISEASES FOR THEM AND FOR THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
CHIOLDREN
AS WELL
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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