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Developed countries often give financial aid to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty so developed countries should give other types of help to v.1

Developed countries often give financial aid to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty so developed countries should give other types of help to v. 1
Developed nations are often seen providing economic assistance to the third world nations. However, it does not always help in reducing poverty and therefore it is argued that less affluent nations must be provided with an alternatives form of aid. This essay discusses why poor countries can be better off from such assistance and types of help that can be offered. One of the main reasons why developing nation should be assisted in other ways is because money can solve problems only for the temporary period. It is not a long-lasting approach to tackling poverty. To illustrate, a developed nation can build schools for poor nations but the expenses that incur later in regards to student's fees and teacher's wages may force to close the institution. This is because foreign aid may not be able to support for longer periods. Thus, it is highly essential that developed countries should find alternatives when helping the poorer nations. There are different kinds of aids that affluent nations can provide to address this problem. First and foremost, young people could be given necessary training in various fields such as technology, modern agriculture, teaching, technical skill, communication etc. This helps them to find employment in their own countries or they can apply jobs to other rich nations. Another important option is investing in prosperous and promising sectors in the poor nations. If first world nations such as the USA opens its companies in third world countries like India, Pakistan, Nepal etc. many people can be highly benefited as such industries can create many local jobs. In conclusion, there are many advantages if rich nations can provide alternative forms of aids instead of capital because financial support is only the short term approach to tackling the issue. In future, it is suggested that such new approaches need to be continued.
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
providing economic assistance to the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
However
, it does not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing poverty and
therefore
it
is argued
that less affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
with an alternatives form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
. This essay discusses why poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can be better off from such assistance and types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that can
be offered
.

One of the main reasons why developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should
be assisted
in other ways is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
money can solve problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the temporary period. It is not a long-lasting approach to tackling poverty. To illustrate, a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can build schools for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the expenses that incur later
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
student's fees and teacher's wages may force to close the institution. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may not be able to support for longer periods.
Thus
, it is
highly
essential that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should find alternatives when helping the poorer nations.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
that affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can provide to address this problem.
First
and foremost, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
necessary training in various fields such as technology, modern agriculture, teaching, technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, communication etc. This
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps them find"?
helps them to find
employment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries or
they can apply jobs to other rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
option is investing in prosperous and promising sectors in the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. If
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
such as the USA opens its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India, Pakistan, Nepal etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be
highly
benefited as such industries can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local jobs.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages if rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can provide alternative forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
instead
of capital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
financial support is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the short term approach to tackling the issue.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, it
is suggested
that such new approaches need to
be continued
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Developed countries often give financial aid to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty so developed countries should give other types of help to v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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