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Some people think older employees are more useful to a company while some people believe younger employees are more useful in modern society. v.2

Some people think older employees are more useful to a company while some people believe younger employees are more useful in modern society. v. 2
It is observed that the success of any organisation is dependent on the employees of that business. However, different individuals have varied opinions about the peer group to be employed. According to one camp, mature workers are valuable to the company, while according to other camp, freshers are more beneficial. Both these views will be critiqued before reaching the reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, there is a group of individuals who argue that elder workforce is advantageous for the firm. The main reason for this belief is the amount of knowledge and experience gained by these employees in their job tenure. Having a full understanding of the system used within cooperation will not only help them to take accurate decisions, but also help them to identify pitfalls at a much earlier stage. Thus, it is apparent that such capable group of employees can add a positive value to the company's growth. On the other hand, some argue that freshers play a significant role in the growth of industries. These undeveloped bodies are fresh to the market and, thereby, are flexible enough to adapt the changes within a company. In addition to this, these forces are always eager and willing to learn and therefore, bring new ideas and perspectives to the workplace. Thus, the theory that employing youth in enterprises is worthwhile is difficult to debunk. After analysing these two points, it is believed that both of these generations have their own important roles in the company's progress. It is thus hoped that organisations will employ an equal number of junior and senior people in order to experience stable growth.
It
is observed
that the success of any
organisation
is dependent on the employees of that business.
However
,
different
individuals have varied opinions about the peer group to
be employed
. According to one camp, mature workers are valuable to the
company
, while according to other camp, freshers are more beneficial. Both these views will
be critiqued
before
reaching the reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, there is a group of individuals who argue that elder workforce is advantageous for the firm. The main reason for this belief is the amount of knowledge and experience gained by these employees in their job tenure. Having a full understanding of the system
used
within cooperation will not
only
help
them to take accurate decisions,
but
also
help
them to identify pitfalls at a much earlier stage.
Thus
, it is apparent that such capable group of employees can
add
a
positive
value to the
company
's growth.

On the other hand
,
some
argue that freshers play a significant role in the growth of industries. These undeveloped bodies are fresh to the market and, thereby, are flexible
enough
to adapt the
changes
within a
company
.
In addition
to this, these forces are always eager and willing to learn and
therefore
, bring new
ideas
and perspectives to the workplace.
Thus
, the theory that employing youth in enterprises is worthwhile is difficult to debunk.

After
analysing
these two points, it
is believed
that both of these generations have their
own
important
roles in the
company
's progress. It is
thus
hoped that
organisations
will employ an equal number of junior and senior
people
in order to experience stable growth.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think older employees are more useful to a company while some people believe younger employees are more useful in modern society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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