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Developed countries have created many environmental problems. What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming? v.1

Developed countries have created many environmental problems. What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming? v. 1
It is true that most activities performed by developed nations are mainly the cause of environmental problems such as global warming. However, there are several ways to minimize the damaging effects, as will now be discussed. One major method to tackle the effects of climate change caused by advanced countries is to encourage people to plant more trees. Due to industrialisation, most developed countries often cut down trees in order to build more roads, factories and modern houses. These activities have led to loss of land and crops during torrential downpour because there is no availability of soil from trees to hold back the heavy flood. For example, in order to reduce reoccurence of erosion in India, the government has put in place a policy that every farmer must plant nothing less than 20 trees annually on their farmlands. Consequently, there has been drastic reduction in dangers caused by flood or erosion. Therefore, it is advisable to strictly encourage afforestation so as to reduce the occurrence of menaces caused by climate change. In addition, another way to reduce the effect of global warming caused by wealthy nations is to encourage people to use more of renewable energy. In order words, most people should often use solar and wind energy which are very cheap and environmental friendly. This in turn would reduce the greenhouse gas emissions and nitrogen oxides in the environment, which is caused by combustion of non renewable energy such as fossil fuel. To sum up, afforestation and use of renewable energy are the most effective method to curb problems caused by global warming.
It is true that most activities performed by developed nations are
mainly
the cause of environmental problems such as global warming.
However
, there are several ways to minimize the damaging effects, as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be discussed
.

One major method to tackle the effects of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by advanced countries is to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to plant more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
. Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in order to build more roads, factories and modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. These activities have led to loss of land and crops during torrential downpour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no availability of soil from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
to hold back the heavy flood.
For example
, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoccurence
of erosion in India, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has put in place a policy that every farmer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plant nothing less than 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
annually
on their farmlands.
Consequently
, there has been drastic reduction in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by flood or erosion.
Therefore
, it is advisable to
strictly
encourage afforestation
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the occurrence of menaces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In addition
, another way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the effect of global warming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by wealthy nations is to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In order words, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar and wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and environmental friendly. This in turn would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the greenhouse gas emissions and nitrogen oxides in the environment, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by combustion of
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as fossil fuel.

To sum up, afforestation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are the most effective method to curb problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by global warming.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Developed countries have created many environmental problems. What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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