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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 4
International sporting events are always a source of attraction for everyone and a large number of people used to attend these events to express their love and support for their country. Many people argue that such occasions are mandatory for exhausting their hate and tension for their rival country. Others state that these events could boost up tension between countries and deteriorate their relation. I agree to some extent that such opportunities could be a menace to the people of nations. It is often seen that people start fighting over supporting their country. Sometimes the situation goes out of control and causes lots of casualties. Many unbiased people are also hurt in these riots. This will end by leaving bad impressions of their country to the world. However, events like football or cricket world cup provide an opportunity for people to understand and explore the cultures and norms of their rival country. They closely observed and spend time with each other. This will surely help in removing their conflicts and disputes to some extent. In some cases, such as in football world cup 2014, after elimination of North Korea, the supporters of both South and North Korea supported South Korea by sidelining their personal differences. This is the perfect example to demonstrate the worth of these events. In conclusion, I believe that international events are not proved to be fruitful in lessening high temperature between nations. They seem to be more destructive and violent while supporting their teams. However, people could become normal by increasing the frequency of these events.
International sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are always a source of attraction for everyone and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and support for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that such occasions are mandatory for exhausting their hate and tension for their rival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Others state that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
could boost up tension between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and deteriorate their relation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent that such opportunities could be a menace to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of nations.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fighting over supporting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the situation goes out of control and causes lots of casualties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
unbiased
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people
are
also
hurt in these riots. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by leaving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impressions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to the world.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like football or cricket world cup provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand and explore the cultures and norms of their rival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They
closely
observed and spend time with each other. This will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in removing their conflicts and disputes to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, such as in football world cup 2014, after elimination of North Korea, the supporters of both South and North Korea supported South Korea by sidelining their personal differences. This is the perfect example to demonstrate the worth of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, I believe that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are not proved to be fruitful in lessening high temperature between nations. They seem to be more destructive and violent while supporting their teams.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could become normal by increasing the frequency of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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