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Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted v. 2
In recent decades, detailed descriptions of criminals on mainstream media and newspapers have been attracting a great deal of public attention due to the substantial impacts on citizens’ mental health. Given that they could be fraught with negative consequences, a higher degree of restriction of these contents should be encouraged. It is true that there are many disadvantages related to the detailed descriptions of crimes. First, Young people have a penchant for mimicking the activities from the criminal description due to their immaturity of cognitive ability, thereby increasing the rates of juvenile delinquency. In addition, A constant exposure to these violent materials from these crime descriptions could culminate in some mental impairments in children. This means that young people would be in the belief that the society is full of people with evil intents, which acts as the deterrent for their desire for interacting with other people, making them more sensitive to autism. Additionally, official authorities should take action to restrict the mainstreaming of crime descriptions on televisions and newspapers. It is effective that the legislation of heavy monetary punishment on any practice of displaying detailed descriptions of criminal of public media should be enacted. This would make the producers of these criminal materials think twice as they would take the heavy fine into consideration. In fact, a high degree of censorship of criminal descriptions on Vietnamese programs is instrumental in the fall in crime commissions, especially in juvenile delinquency rates. In conclusion, Detailed descriptions of crimes on televisions and newspapers should be strictly censored or even prohibited for some negative impacts. Governments worldwide should impose a heavy fine on any intents of producing these violent materials to discourage individuals from committing crimes.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
on mainstream media and newspapers have been attracting a great deal of public attention due to the substantial impacts on citizens’ mental health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that they could be fraught with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, a higher degree of restriction of these contents should
be encouraged
.

It is true that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
First
, Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a penchant for mimicking the activities from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
description
due to their immaturity of cognitive ability, thereby increasing the rates of juvenile delinquency.
In addition
, A constant exposure to these violent materials from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
could culminate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental impairments in children. This means that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be in the belief that the society is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with evil intents, which acts as the deterrent for their desire for interacting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, making them more sensitive to autism.

Additionally
, official authorities should take action to restrict the mainstreaming of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
on televisions and newspapers. It is effective that the legislation of heavy monetary punishment on any practice of displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
of public media should
be enacted
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the producers of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice as they would take the heavy fine into consideration. In fact, a high degree of censorship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
on Vietnamese programs is instrumental in the fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
commissions,
especially
in juvenile delinquency rates.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
descriptions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on televisions and newspapers should be
strictly
censored or even prohibited for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
worldwide should impose a heavy fine on any intents of producing these violent materials to discourage individuals from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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