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Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted v. 1
The last century saw a huge increase in numbers of cars on roads due to the rapid advancement in technology and the increase in purchasing power of people. This trend has a numerous negative effects on society and its inhabitants, so i completely agree with the promotion of public transport and enforcement of international laws, in order to reduce the increasing numbers of cars. Large number of cars have become a source of comfort for many, but adverse effects are uncountable than the facilities they provide. Firstly, the increased number of cars, undoubtedly, become a source of air pollution; more cars mean more pollution. The only way to tackle this issue is by the promotion of public transport. For instance, if ten people tend to travel by car they at least fit in more than two vehicles, but if they travel by bus, it will take only one. Secondly, consumption of fuel is paramount now and it is believed that if the same amount of fuel keeps on consuming, fuel will vanish in the coming century. In this regard, more vehicle consumes more fuel, and the vice versa. Finally, it also creates imbalance in the society by creating a difference of rich and poor among the people. Therefore, alternative ways of transport are preferable to use in order to maintain a balance in every aspect of society. International laws could also help to make the situation better. It is the duty of world organizations to create an equilibrium among nations by creating such laws which discourage people to buy more personal cars and use the public transport. For example, international lawmakers should make a policy that a person cannot buy more than two cars if he has to buy more than two, impose a high tax on that which could be used for the welfare of poor and needy. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that with the promotion of alternative ways of transportation, along with the involvement of international laws, it is possible to reduce the number of cars on the roads which is a constant threat of air pollution and the complete consumption of fuel from the planet earth.
The last century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a huge increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads due to the rapid advancement in technology and the increase in purchasing power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This trend has a numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on society and its inhabitants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the promotion of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and enforcement of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of cars.

Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have become a source of comfort for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adverse effects are
Use "(uncountable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
uncountable
than the facilities they provide.
Firstly
, the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
undoubtedly
, become a source of air pollution; more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
mean more pollution. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to tackle this issue is by the promotion of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
For instance
, if ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
they at least fit in more than two vehicles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they travel by bus, it will take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one.
Secondly
, consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is paramount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and it
is believed
that if the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on consuming,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
will vanish in the coming century. In this regard, more vehicle consumes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, and the vice versa.
Finally
, it
also
creates imbalance in the society by creating a difference of rich and poor among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, alternative ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are preferable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in order to maintain a balance in every aspect of society.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation better. It is the duty of world organizations to create an equilibrium among nations by creating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
which discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
For example
, international lawmakers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a policy that a person cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more than two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
if he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more than two, impose a high tax on that which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the welfare of poor and needy.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate that with the promotion of alternative ways of transportation, along with the involvement of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads which is a constant threat of air pollution and the complete consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
from the planet earth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Detailed descriptions of crimes are often given in the newspaper or on TV Some people think it has bad consequences on the society and so should be restricted v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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