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Crimes and other kinds of information on the television and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information to be restricted to be shown in media. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.1

Crimes and other kinds of information on the television and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information to be restricted to be shown in media. v. 1
Nowadays the media like television and newspaper are indeed focusing more on crime related news than others. However, this trend affects our society severely. Hence, I firmly believe that the government should restrict Telecasting and Reporting crime-related news on media. Crime related programmes are ever-increasing on television channel than in the past. Crime related issues and news undoubtedly attract the viewer and to sit and watch it. As a result, the television channels can increase profit and channel ratings. Besides, it is also evident that in many newspapers focus more on crime and violence related news in order to increase their circulation. The advocates of this view claim that journalists help the public to understand what is happening in their surroundings. However, exaggerating crime-related news on TV, definitely our society badly. Children are very much interested in this program on TV, which affects their behaviour and character. Children may imitate these incidents in their personal life. For example, in our country, the police arrested many young children as part of a crime. After the investigation, they could realise that they committed this crime after watching crime-related show on television. so it is the responsibility of the government to control and stop these shows on television. At the same time, they can also improve some law and regulation regarding this issue. To conclude, there is no doubt that time and other kinds of information on television and newspapers will affect our society negatively. So I believe that, the authority should restrict to telecast these programs on Media.
Nowadays the media like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and newspaper are
indeed
focusing more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
than others.
However
, this trend affects our society
severely
.
Hence
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restrict Telecasting and Reporting crime-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on media.

Crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are ever-increasing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channel than in the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
undoubtedly
attract the viewer and to sit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels can increase profit and channel ratings.
Besides
, it is
also
evident that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
newspapers focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in order to increase their circulation. The advocates of this view claim that journalists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the public to understand what is happening in their surroundings.

However
, exaggerating crime-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on TV, definitely our society
badly
. Children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much interested in this program on TV, which affects their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and character. Children may imitate these incidents in their personal life.
For example
, in our country, the police arrested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young children as part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. After the investigation, they could
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they committed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
after watching crime-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. At the same time, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
law and regulation regarding this issue.

To conclude
, there is no doubt that time and other kinds of information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and newspapers will affect our society
negatively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe that, the authority should restrict to telecast these programs on Media.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Crimes and other kinds of information on the television and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information to be restricted to be shown in media. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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