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A company has announced to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the decision? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

A company has announced to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the decision? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Movies are the major source of entertainment and is one of the main leisure activity. A certain demographics of the society believe that modern technology provides enough ways to enjoy movie at home, whereas this ideology is not supported by others, they think that theatre is best to fully enjoy the film. I opine that watching movie in the cinema is beneficial for the individual and the country. This essay will delve deeper into both views with relevant examples. To begin with, theatres play a significant role in the economic growth of the country. For example, when a person buys a movie ticket then he makes a contribution in the revenue of the nation. Apart from this, watching movies in the cinema is more joyful because they watch on a big screen with better audio-visual effects and without external disturbance. To illustrate, a survey was conducted in 2012, and 80% movie lovers watch night shows to enjoy it fully without distractions. On the other side, advocates of the former view state that films on mobile or tablets are more convenient and cheap. A person can enjoy their favourite movies at any time without going out, with the use of modern equipments and saves money of travelling. For instance, Amazon Prime and Netflix are the most popular websites providing all sorts of entertainment shows and movies. To conclude, both sides are viable and fair, according to the persons' convenience, but I personally believe that movies in cinemas are more enjoyable and the individual spent quality time with their close ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
are the major source of entertainment and is one of the main leisure activity. A certain
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "demographic"?
demographics
of the society believe that modern technology provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at home, whereas this ideology is not supported by others, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is best to
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the film. I opine that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in the cinema is beneficial for the individual and the country. This essay will delve deeper into both views with relevant examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
play a significant role in the economic growth of the country.
For example
, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
ticket then he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a contribution in the revenue of the nation. Apart from this, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the cinema is more joyful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen with better audio-visual effects and without external disturbance. To illustrate, a survey
was conducted
in 2012, and 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
lovers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
night
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
it
fully
without distractions.

On the other side, advocates of the former view state that films on mobile or tablets are more convenient and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
. A person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at any time without going out, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern equipments and saves money of travelling.
For instance
, Amazon Prime and Netflix are the most popular websites providing all sorts of entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and movies.

To conclude
, both sides are viable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, according to the persons' convenience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in cinemas are more enjoyable and the individual spent quality time with their close ones.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A company has announced to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the decision? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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