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Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Use specific reasons and examples in your opinion. v.2

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Use specific reasons and examples in your opinion. v. 2
In the past, tobacco was invented as a herb to cure certain diseases, but today, people use it for enjoyment. A high quantity of nicotine can bring numerous health issues. Tobacco addiction not only brought health problems, but also financial problems as well. According to me, tobacco is also affecting the youth of our nation because of that we should be concerned about this problem, and we should find a solution as well. I will elaborate on my reasons in the ensuing paragraphs. First, smoking not only an active smoker, but it also affects the passive smoker as well. The individual, who inhale smoke not from the cigarette, but from the air those called as “passive smokers”. According to research statistics, the chances of suffering from health problems for passive smokers are higher compared to an active smoker. Additionally, smoking can cause various health diseases such as cancer, heart disease, and other serious illnesses. Many youngsters become victim of these diseases. The decreasing number of youth should be a concern for society because youth is the future of society. Young generation smoke cigarettes sometimes as fashion or sometimes they do it under peer pressure. Sometimes parents set a bad example for their children by smoking in front of them. All mentioned reasons attract the young generation towards addiction of nicotine. Second, to solve nicotine addiction, the government should increase the tax on nicotine products. Because of the high price, fewer people would be able to afford to buy these products. Moreover, the government should prohibit smoking in public places that lead to a reduced number of passive smokers. In addition, the government should make a strict amendment about the person who can buy nicotine. For example, the youngster who is below 18 should be not allowed to buy it. Similarly, for pregnant women, it should ban to buy nicotine because the child would have to suffer from the withdrawal symptoms after birth. Further, the government should also help a person who wants to come out of the addiction by providing require counseling and treatment. The government should concern about the smoking issue because the government spends a lot of money on hospitals and organizations to save people from their addictions. This money could be spent on providing food to needy people, research, public service, education, etc. Let’s put in a nutshell, tobacco is highly affecting the youth of society. Based on that I strongly believe that it should be our concern to reduce tobacco addiction. Government and individual of society, both can help in solving the problem by prohibiting smoking in public and funding organizations.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
was invented
as a herb to cure certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for enjoyment. A high quantity of nicotine can bring numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tobacco
addiction not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as well
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is
also
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
of our nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that we should
be concerned
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and we should find a solution
as well
. I will elaborate on my reasons in the ensuing paragraphs.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an active smoker,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smoker
as well
. The individual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
inhale smoke not from the cigarette,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from the air those called as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“passive
smokers”. According to research statistics, the chances of suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smokers are higher compared to an active smoker.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can cause various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as cancer, heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, and other serious illnesses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters become victim of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. The decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should be a concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Young generation smoke cigarettes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
as fashion or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do it under peer pressure.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
parents set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
example for their children by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in front of them. All mentioned reasons attract the young generation towards addiction of nicotine.

Second, to solve nicotine addiction, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should increase the tax on nicotine products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the high price, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these products.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public places that lead to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smokers.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strict amendment about the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
nicotine.
For example
, the youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is below 18 should be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
Similarly
, for pregnant women, it should ban to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
nicotine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the child would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from the withdrawal symptoms after birth.
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of the addiction by providing require counseling and treatment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should concern about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on hospitals and organizations to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their addictions. This money could
be spent
on providing food to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, research, public service, education, etc.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s put in a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is
highly
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Based on that I
strongly
believe that it should be our concern to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
addiction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and individual of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, both can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public and funding organizations.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Use specific reasons and examples in your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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