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To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v.1

To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 1
A library is a place that shelves many books a reader can read or borrow. Nevertheless, technological advancement and its tremendous effects on the way we learn new things and share information have redefined the concept of a library in recent days. Therefore, digital contents and technological facilities are widely used in public libraries all around the world and I quite disagree with the notion that these amenities are a waste of resource or space for a library. Unsupportive people of high-tech libraries often argue that they distract readers and costs more money. I, however, believe that libraries with modern facilities are far more useful to readers and allow the librarian to manage its collection in a more organised fashion. Multimedia resources offer readers a dynamic combination of images, sounds, videos and virtual tours. Thus, listening to a famous historical speech or taking a virtual tour of the Colosseum is far more interactive and exciting than just reading about them. Moreover, multimedia facilities and DVDs in a library may initially seem expensive, but they preserve valuable resources for a longer time and contain important information for future research and reference. To cite an example, a single DVD can store the entire volume of Encyclopedia Britannica which would otherwise occupy a large shelf of a library Interestingly, a public library can actually save money and space and attract more readers with the use of technology and interactive contents. When they have computers and library management software, they barely need many staff members. Besides, it takes great effort to protect books from moisture, fire and human damages, but digital contents can easily be copied and preserved for as many years as we want. As for attracting young generations, a high-tech library is more successful. To conclude, the transformation of public libraries has made them more beneficial to readers and researchers as they now work as centres for interactive learning and knowledge sharing. It is expected that traditional libraries would include digital and modern facilities to enhance human knowledge and experience.
A library is a place that shelves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books a reader can read or borrow.
Nevertheless
, technological advancement and its tremendous effects on the way we learn new things and share information have redefined the concept of a library in recent days.
Therefore
, digital contents and technological facilities are
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in public libraries all around the world and I quite disagree with the notion that these amenities are a waste of resource or space for a library.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Unsupportive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of high-tech libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that they distract readers and costs more money. I,
however
, believe that libraries with modern facilities are far more useful to readers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the librarian to manage its collection in a more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
fashion. Multimedia resources offer readers a dynamic combination of images, sounds, videos and virtual tours.
Thus
, listening to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
historical speech or taking a virtual tour of the Colosseum is far more interactive and exciting than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reading about them.
Moreover
, multimedia facilities and DVDs in a library may
initially
seem expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they preserve valuable resources for a longer time and contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information for future research and reference. To cite an example, a single DVD can store the entire volume of Encyclopedia Britannica which would
otherwise
occupy a large shelf of a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
library


Interestingly
, a public library can actually save money and space and attract more readers with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology and interactive contents. When they have computers and library management software, they
barely
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
staff members.
Besides
, it takes great effort to protect books from moisture, fire and human damages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
digital contents can
easily
be copied
and preserved for as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years as we want. As for attracting young generations, a high-tech library is more successful.

To conclude
, the transformation of public libraries has made them more beneficial to readers and researchers as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
work as
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for interactive learning and knowledge sharing. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that traditional libraries would include digital and modern facilities to enhance human knowledge and experience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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