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TPO 6 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 6 Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is no doubt that education plays a vital role in each individual’s life nowadays. People continue to pursue their learning for many purposes, not only for employment opportunities or professional competence but also for personal leisure activities. I believe education should be considered as a lifelong process rather than a practice done within a short period of time. Thanks to technological advantages, people can access their learning through various methods beside traditional channels (e. g. , schools, study on campus), such as studying either via Internet or television or video. People of all ages could attend classes. There are no longer time and location constraints as it used to in the past. Constantly changing in society, business and working environment are another reason to force people to come back to school. There are no any job positions guaranteed not being replaced. Skilled workforce needs to keep well-informed of the latest changes in their industries to prevent them falling behind their peers, and thus make them less competitive. This fact is obviously true for those people working in IT as it’s a kind of industry changing rapidly. Aside from working, people can be motivated to learn for their own target. People in today’s society have passions for a variety of aspects ranging from music, dancing, arts to sports and other physical activities rather than material wealth. Joining their favourite training classes will help to make them feel younger, more energetic and see life more colourful. In conclusion, people nowadays continue their education for many reasons, both personal and professional targets. I believe this trending is healthy for each individual developer.
It is no doubt that education plays a vital role in each individual’s life nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
continue to pursue their learning for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for employment opportunities or professional competence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for personal leisure activities. I believe education should
be considered
as a lifelong process
rather
than a practice done within a short period of time.

Thanks to technological advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access their learning through various methods beside traditional channels (
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
schools, study on campus), such as studying either via Internet or television or video.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of all ages could attend classes. There are no longer time and location constraints as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to in the past.

Constantly
changing in society, business and working environment are another reason to force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to school. There are
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any job positions guaranteed not
being replaced
. Skilled workforce needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
well-informed of the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their industries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them falling behind their peers, and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less competitive. This fact is
obviously
true for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in IT as it’s a kind of industry changing
rapidly
.

Aside from working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be motivated
to learn for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
target.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society have passions for a variety of aspects ranging from music, dancing, arts to sports and other physical activities
rather
than material wealth. Joining their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
training classes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel younger, more energetic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
life more
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays continue their education for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, both personal and professional targets. I believe this trending is healthy for each individual developer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 6 Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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