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Describe an exciting sport that you know aboutYou should say: what the sport ishow you know about this sporthow easy it is to play this sportand expain what it was about this sport that makes it exciting (for you) v.1

Describe an exciting sport that you know aboutYou should say: what the sport ishow you know about this sporthow easy it is to play this sportand expain what it was about this sport that makes it exciting (for you) v. 1
There have been numerous cases of revealing personal lives of politicians, which is considered illegal, to the public conciousness through newspapers. I agree that it violates the privacy of these individuals as much as others. However, I believe that exposing them can be sometimes necessary in case the security of the people would be at risk otherwise. Politicians are people and they have rights to protect as citizens. Elements of their private lives, such as family and wealth, should remain secret for their sake. Revealing their information without their permission or for personal gain is considered unethical and unlawful. For instance, a foreign minister lost a child to a rival party member due to a paparazzi showing his address. On the flip side, if a politician threatens the security of the nation or other countries to seek political goals, and if he or she is secretive, then analysing their private information to retaliate is a must in order to retaliate their malicious acts. To illustrate, a militaristic dictator who overthroned an elected president has enjoyed seven years of ruling his land where its people suffer with low wages, unreasonable arrests, loss of rights, and poor health. The dictator has made deals with other neighbouring governments to remain in power indefinately, despite his claims of stepping down after a short period. Justice systems have been powerless to defeat him due to his secretive nature, and therefore, his secrets must be known as a means of restoring order to the country. To conclude, politicians earn rights just like any other human. Yet, their authority can be a problem if they impose their power for evil, and thus they must be deciphered.
There have been numerous cases of revealing personal
lives
of politicians, which
is considered
illegal, to the public
conciousness
through newspapers. I
agree
that it violates the privacy of these individuals as much as others.
However
, I believe that exposing them can be
sometimes
necessary in case the security of the
people
would be at
risk
otherwise
.

Politicians are
people and
they have rights to protect as citizens. Elements of their private
lives
, such as family and wealth, should remain secret for their sake. Revealing their information without their permission or for personal gain
is considered
unethical and unlawful.
For instance
, a foreign minister lost a child to a rival party member due to a paparazzi showing his address.

On the flip side, if a politician threatens the security of the nation or
other
countries to seek political goals, and if he or she is secretive, then
analysing
their private information to retaliate is a
must
in order to retaliate their malicious acts. To illustrate, a militaristic dictator who
overthroned
an elected president has enjoyed seven years of ruling his land where its
people
suffer with low wages, unreasonable arrests, loss of rights, and poor health. The dictator has made deals with
other
neighbouring
governments
to remain in power
indefinately
, despite his claims of stepping down after a short period. Justice systems have been powerless to defeat him due to his secretive nature, and
therefore
, his secrets
must
be known
as a means of restoring order to the country.

To conclude
, politicians earn rights
just
like any
other
human.
Yet
, their authority can be a problem if they impose their power for evil, and
thus
they
must
be deciphered
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an exciting sport that you know aboutYou should say: what the sport ishow you know about this sporthow easy it is to play this sportand expain what it was about this sport that makes it exciting (for you) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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