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Describe a indoor activity you play with your friends. Please say: What the game was? Who do you play with? Where and when you play it? Why do you like to play it? v.1

Describe a indoor activity you play with your friends. Please say: What the game was? Who do you play with? Where and when you play it? Why do you like to play it? v. 1
In today's world, many businesses are run by members of the family. Some business owners believe that this is the effective way to run a business. In this essay we will look into both the benefits and the drawbacks of family run companies. Firstly, The main advantage of family owned business is, trust among members are strongly and inherently established as they are a family. Strength and weakness of the members are well known and used appropriately in the circumstances. For example, sales, execution and leadership can be assigned to members who excel in those areas. Secondly, Profit from the business remains within the family and can be reinvested in the company for growth and expansion opportunity. Say, Bonus, profit sharing and salary are given to the members of the family. Lastly, High commitment and work flexibility will exist among the employees as it is owned and operated by them. On the other side, The disadvantage includes no clear distinction between work and family life will exist. Even though all are together most of the time, time and discussion would mostly revolve around the business. Relationship issues and hardship between individuals may arise dues to differences in financial decisions. For example, The decision on cost cutting or dividing profit and salary increases may not be agreed upon by all the members. In conclusion, There are many benefits and drawbacks with the family run business. However, the benefit over-weigh the drawback and could be used to establish and develop the business. In future, this will encourage the next generation to get involved in the company in an early stage.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners believe that this is the effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In this essay we will look into both the benefits and the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Firstly
, The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is, trust among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
strongly
and
inherently
established as they are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Strength and weakness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are well known and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
appropriately
in the circumstances.
For example
, sales, execution and leadership can
be assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
who excel in those areas.
Secondly
, Profit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
remains within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and can
be reinvested
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for growth and expansion opportunity. Say, Bonus, profit sharing and salary are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Lastly
, High commitment and work flexibility will exist among the employees as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and operated by them.

On the other side, The disadvantage includes no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
distinction between work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life will exist.
Even though
all are together most of the time, time and discussion would
mostly
revolve around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Relationship issues and hardship between individuals may arise dues to differences in financial decisions.
For example
, The decision on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost cutting
or dividing profit and salary increases may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
upon by all the members.

In conclusion
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and drawbacks with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
, the benefit over-weigh the drawback and could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to establish and develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, this will encourage the
next
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in an early stage.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a indoor activity you play with your friends. Please say: What the game was? Who do you play with? Where and when you play it? Why do you like to play it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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