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Describe an exciting competition or sporting event. You should say: what the competition or sporting event waswhen and where it took placewho wonand explain why it was exciting. v.1

Describe an exciting competition or sporting event. You should say: what the competition or sporting event waswhen and where it took placewho wonand explain why it was exciting. v. 1
Few people are predicting that the usage of flights will be reduced in the upcoming days. In this essay, I shall discuss on the few points to illustrate that this is a very negative development. To begin with, the one main issue if the air travel is reduced is that the transportation time will increase. As a result, prices of all the consumer goods will be increased. For example, according to a recent study at the university of California shows that usage of air travel has a 20% less tax than the water transportation. Another, reason is that the air business like the flights and the planes will drastically go down. Because of which the government will lose the humongous amount of loss. To illustrate, the recent survey published in the times of India shows that the country gets around 25% of its tax money from the flight ticket prices. However, there are few merits also is there is a cut down on the number of flights. Firstly, the amount of air pollution will be reduced by some extent. Secondly, the fuel used for the flights can be used for the other on the road transportations for longer distance. For example, a recent study showed that there is a 5% increase in air pollution every year because of the gas emitted from flights. In conclusion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In order to reduce little bit of the air pollution, the government cannot ignore the loss in the taxes collected, if there is a decrease in the air travel.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are predicting that the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the upcoming days. In this essay, I shall discuss on the few points to illustrate that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the one main issue if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
is that the transportation time will increase.
As a result
, prices of all the consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
will
be increased
.
For example
, according to a recent study at the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of California
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel has a 20% less tax than the water transportation. Another, reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
business like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
will
drastically
go down.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will lose the humongous amount of loss. To illustrate, the recent survey published in
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the times of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
around 25% of its tax money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
ticket prices.

However
, there are few merits
also
is there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
.
Firstly
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Secondly
, the fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the other on the road transportations for longer distance.
For example
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that there is a 5% increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the gas emitted from flights.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the loss in the taxes collected, if there is a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an exciting competition or sporting event. You should say: what the competition or sporting event waswhen and where it took placewho wonand explain why it was exciting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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