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Describe a useful website that you have visited. You should say- what it was- how you found the address- what it contains- and explain why it was/is useful to you v.1

Describe a useful website that you have visited. You should say- what it was- how you found the address- what it contains- and explain why it was/is useful to you v. 1
It goes without saying that the approach to looking after children is vital for their nurture. It is often claimed that those people who are in the vicinity of them, most of the time have a major influence on their personality. Therefore, I intend to set out two possible ways which would be beneficial for them. To the best of my knowledge, parents play a very important role in the nurture of children. Parents can often provide children with their knowledge if children want to get to know their surroundings more. Moreover, going for walks and doing things with parents together is very likely to have positive impacts on their personal growth. On the other hand, parents cannot be fully substituted by friends. According to one recent study, those children who used to attend a pre-nursery school were more outspoken and strong-willed as adults. Moreover, they also managed to cope with stress better than their counterparts who spent most of their childhood under the surveillance of parents. Their speaking skills were also at a higher level. However, as far as I am concerned, it really depends on the individuals since some kids are more intelligent than others and it is very easy for them to unleash their potential without a friendship. In conclusion, from my point of view, it is crucial to reconcile both of the ways which are mentioned above.
It goes without saying that the approach to looking after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is vital for their nurture. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in the vicinity of them, most of the time have a major influence on their personality.
Therefore
, I intend to set out two possible ways which would be beneficial for them.

To the best of my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the nurture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their knowledge if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know their surroundings more.
Moreover
, going for walks and doing things with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
together is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on their personal growth.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot be
fully
substituted by friends.

According to one recent study, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to attend a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-nursery
school were more outspoken and strong-willed as adults.
Moreover
, they
also
managed to cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
better than their counterparts who spent most of their childhood under the surveillance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Their speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
were
also
at a higher level.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, it
really
depends on the individuals since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids are more intelligent than others and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for them to unleash their potential without a friendship.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, it is crucial to reconcile both of the ways which
are mentioned
above.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a useful website that you have visited. You should say- what it was- how you found the address- what it contains- and explain why it was/is useful to you v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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