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Using the example of the albatross and the fulmar, explain two special adaptations that have developed to help seabirds find food. v.1

Using the example of the albatross and the fulmar, explain two special adaptations that have developed to help seabirds find food. v. 1
The nature is changing so fast and also the rules and norms of the society. Development in terms of anything brings both that are positive or negative. It is irrefutable that in certain parts of the world children are having a great privilege and they are enjoying it in a different ways as compared to an earlier time. Thus, I agree and supports the positive development of the children. In the 21st century in which everything is going digitized and most of the people really enjoying the development. Now a day most of the countries are allowing their citizens to live freely and utilizing every other platform that is beneficial for public interest. There are many advantages for children to grab the opportunities because they have complete liberty to do anything decently. Now a days children having a lot of exposure, they can do different type of activities, experiments and it is only possible because that they are free and also they are the part of globalisation. In addition, freedom is also important in several ways, not even for a children also for adults. For instance, in the USA, there is a standardized education system in which children are free to choose any of the subjects according to their interest. If someone wants to take history or political science as a major subject they can, they are not restricted or bounded by any of the sides neither parent nor management. However, growth and development of any kid, adult depend upon the flexibility. Furthermore, today's children have the power of the internet and also satellite TV in their hands. They are also using the social platforms and grabbing the lots of information about all over the world. Now a days not even the internet they have also other sources like newspapers, group discussion classes through which they can develop their knowledge. They have an ocean of opportunities in from of them. In addition, today's children are far more efficient as well as expressive like earlier time. For example, In earlier time parents are the only guide for them who can advise them to choose streams such as, medical, non medical or commerce for further studies, but at present children are capable to take their own direction and choose the things accordingly. Thus, It's only happening because we are in the part of a free world where we can choose anything, anywhere at anytime. On the other hand, sometime the excessive use of ability can be harmful for children. Over the limit is always harmful and cause the major issues. Children like the maturity and fail to sense the consequences of their action. Flexibility doesn't say that you have to go beyond the limits. Sometime children try to break all the barriers and for stopping them need someone responsible person like parents who can control their hyper activeness and teach them how to balance the limits in a decent manner. For instance, presently children having a driving licence and they are driving the vehicle such as car and a scooter, instead of controllable accelerator they are trying to touch the upper limits. It is vulnerable. It could be the cause of the accident. Therefore, children have to handle their liberty in a controlled manner rather then excess. To sum up, I reiterate that freedom can be helpful only if we use in an appropriate way. It is very fruitful and joyful for anyone and it is everyone's duty to use in a specific and meaningful order. In my opinion the freedom helpful in the advancement of any children.
The nature is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and norms of the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Development
in terms of anything brings both that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. It is irrefutable that in certain parts of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are having a great
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
privilege and
they are enjoying it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
as compared to an earlier time.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and supports the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the children.

In the 21st century in which everything is going digitized and most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
really
enjoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day most of the countries are allowing their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
and utilizing every other platform
that is
beneficial for public interest.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grab the opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have complete liberty to do anything
decently
.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exposure, they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of activities, experiments and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that they are free and
also
they are the part of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
In addition
, freedom is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in several ways, not even for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
for adults.
For instance
, in the USA, there is a standardized education system in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
any of the subjects according to their interest. If someone wants to take history or political science as a major subject they can, they are not restricted or bounded by any of the sides neither parent nor management.
However
, growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of any kid, adult depend upon the flexibility.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the power of the internet and
also
satellite TV in their hands. They are
also
using the social platforms and grabbing the lots of information about all over the world.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
not even the internet they have
also
other sources like newspapers, group discussion classes through which they can develop their knowledge. They have an ocean of opportunities in from of them.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are far more efficient
as well
as expressive
Comparison is written 'as expressive "as"'.
like
earlier time.
For example
, In earlier time parents are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
guide for them who can advise them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
streams such as, medical,
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non medical
or commerce for
further
studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are capable to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
direction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the things
accordingly
.
Thus
, It's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are in the part of a free world where we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
anything, anywhere at anytime.

On the other hand
, sometime the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of ability can be harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
is always harmful and cause the major issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
like the maturity and fail to sense the consequences of their action. Flexibility doesn't say that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go beyond the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
. Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to break all the barriers and for stopping them need someone responsible person like parents who can control their hyper activeness and teach them how to balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
Consider replacing "in a decent manner" with the adverb for "decent"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a decent manner
.
For instance
,
presently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having a driving
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
licence and
they are driving the vehicle such as car and a scooter,
instead
of controllable accelerator they are trying to touch the upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
. It is vulnerable. It could be the cause of the accident.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handle their liberty in a controlled manner
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
excess.

To sum up, I reiterate that freedom can be helpful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fruitful and joyful for anyone and it is everyone's duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in a specific and meaningful order. In my opinion the freedom helpful in the advancement of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
25Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Using the example of the albatross and the fulmar, explain two special adaptations that have developed to help seabirds find food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
596 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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