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Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what the piece of equipment iswhen and where you got itwhat you use it for. and explain why you find it useful. v.2

Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what the piece of equipment iswhen and where you got itwhat you use it for. and explain why you find it useful. v. 2
In today's era technology plays a major role in our society, we are very much used to the machines which are facilitating us, in multiple ways, in our daily lives, without one, the people will struggle to move on. Some believe that these devices are not really helpful, I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will discuss how the modern technology is a boon to mankind and help with decreasing tension of people. The advent of many devices such as washing machine, mixer grinder, dishwasher helps many women across the world to save their kitchen time. Nowadays, women are also going for a job to keep the ball rolling and to afford a decent living for their family in the society, so they have to manage their time and maintain a balance between work and home. These automatic machines are a big stress reliever for them to finish their work on time and to keep up the punctuality at the office. Furthermore, they can utilize the excess time for their well being like walking, doing exercise/yoga etc. , and also to spend quality time with their children. Thanks to the invention of devices like computers, smart phones etc. , now the distance between the loved once seems to be much reduced. Firstly, many people travels abroad and leave their family either parents or wife at their home country, in search of job or to proceed to higher education. Video call is the great virtue of these people, without one, the mental suffering is going to multiply thinking about how they are doing? What difficulties they are facing in the new country? , and many more unanswered questions. For example, I saw a video in social media, where a pregnant lady talking to her military husband in a video call, with tears rolling down her eyes. Such emotional moments have become possible with the help of mobile phones. To conclude, invention of automatic machines and communication devices has improved the way the human population lived. Therefore, they are considered as real virtues and it made our life easier.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era technology plays a major role in our society, we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
which are facilitating us, in multiple ways, in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, without one, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are not
really
helpful, I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will discuss how the modern technology is a boon to mankind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with decreasing tension of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The advent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, mixer grinder, dishwasher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women across the world to save their kitchen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Nowadays, women are
also
going for a job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the ball rolling and to afford a decent living for their family in the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and maintain a balance between work and home. These automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever for them to finish their work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up the punctuality at the office.
Furthermore
, they can utilize the excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
like walking, doing exercise/yoga etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and
also
to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children.

Thanks to the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
like computers, smart phones etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the distance between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
once seems to be much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
travels
abroad and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their family either parents or wife at their home country, in search of job or to proceed to higher education. Video call is the great virtue of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, without one, the mental suffering is going to multiply thinking about how they are doing? What difficulties they are facing in the new country?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more unanswered questions.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a video in social media, where a pregnant lady talking to her military husband in a video call, with tears rolling down her eyes. Such emotional moments have become possible with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobile phones.

To conclude
, invention of automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the way the human population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
.
Therefore
, they
are considered
as real virtues and it made our life easier.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what the piece of equipment iswhen and where you got itwhat you use it for. and explain why you find it useful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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