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You have a Facebook friend living and he/she is curious to learn about a major news item in your country. write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter, describe a news story in your countryexplain why people are interested in itsay how the story p v.1

You have a Facebook friend living and he/she is curious to learn about a major news item in your country. write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter, describe a news story in your countryexplain why people are interested in itsay how the story p v. 1
Although, there is a section of the society which supports the convicted persons should be involved in a wage-less jobs, while the other party believes in punishing them, through a specific time-bounded prison sentence. I agree with the latter view, that mandatory lock up should be given priority compared to the former idea. When we consider the former view, some people believe that, employing the criminals into no-pay jobs is enabling them to give unselfishly to the society, which is an ideal punishment. In addition, they acquire new life skills such as carpentry, electrical works and other bread-earning ways. As a result, once they finish their term, the convicted felons have positive outlook towards the society, and can also start their life fresh by employing their learned skill sets in the society. For example, as per the research conducted in the European Union, up to 28 percent of the released prisoners got full-time jobs because of their participation in the no-pay works. In fact, the criminals had improved their living standards through these new learnings. In contradiction to the former view, most people believe that, prison time should be kept mandatory for the criminals, considering the severity of the crime happened. In some situations, the convicted should be kept in isolation, like solitary confinements, to allow that person to re-think about the life impacting decisions he or she has made. In fact, this jail term will help the individuals to make their conscience speak, and bring back their human values into action. To exemplify this, during the last decade, there is a significant spike in pre-released convicts from Indian Jails due to their positive behaviour. This is achieved only by the fact, that the prison time has re-shaped their character. In conclusion, there are both the sections of the society, one who believes in wage-free work is the best way of dealing with convicts, whereas the other supports the jail time. However, in my opinion, assigning the jail term to the convicted persons is the appropriate way to bring remorse, and to rebuild their broken personalities. It is not an exaggeration to say that, in upcoming years, most of the countries are going to invest in strengthening their correctional facilities to accommodate more criminals.
Although, there is a section of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which supports the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convicted
persons should
be involved
in a wage-less jobs, while the other party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
in punishing them, through a specific time-bounded prison sentence. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view, that mandatory lock up should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority compared to the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

When we consider the former view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, employing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
into no-pay jobs is enabling them to give
unselfishly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which is an ideal punishment.
In addition
, they acquire new life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as carpentry, electrical works and other bread-earning ways.
As a result
, once they finish their term, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convicted
felons have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outlook towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their life fresh by employing their learned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, as per the research conducted in the European Union, up to 28 percent of the released prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
full-time jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their participation in the no-pay works. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their living standards through these new learnings.

In contradiction to the former view, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, prison time should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
mandatory for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, considering the severity of the crime happened.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convicted
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in isolation, like solitary confinements, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
that person to re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the life impacting decisions he or she has made.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
term will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their conscience speak, and bring back their human values into action. To exemplify this, during the last decade, there is a significant spike in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-released
convicts from Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jails
due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This
is achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the fact, that the prison time has re-shaped their character.

In conclusion
, there are both the sections of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, one who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
in wage-free work is the best way of dealing with convicts, whereas the other supports the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
time.
However
, in my opinion, assigning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
term to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convicted
persons is the appropriate way to bring remorse, and to rebuild their broken personalities. It is not an exaggeration to say that, in upcoming years, most of the countries are going to invest in strengthening their correctional facilities to accommodate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay You have a Facebook friend living and he/she is curious to learn about a major news item in your country. write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter, describe a news story in your countryexplain why people are interested in itsay how the story p v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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