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Describe an interesting story that you heard in childhood. You should say: when you heard the story what the story was about what you learn from it and explain why you though the story was interesting v.1

Describe an interesting story that you heard in childhood. You should say: when you heard the story what the story was about what you learn from it and explain why you though the story was interesting v. 1
The most high-tech mode of transportation has become a topic of debate nowadays. Many argue that the fossil fuel powered aeroplane causes heavy pollution. Thus, the use of it should be avoided. I oppose this argument, airways is one of the most useful mode of transport and overcome its demerits, planes should be maintained to reduce the emission of harmful gases into the environment. Undeniably, the aircrafts uses huge amount of fuel resources, and causes air pollution. But this can be controlled by improving the fossil-fuel consumption of the aircraft and by disregarding of the old aeroplanes which cause excessive pollution. For example, the government should pass a bill to fund the aircraft research and development department, so that, they can make more fuel efficient jets, and regulate a strict law against using old generation engine powered aeroplanes. On the other hand, aeroplane come with the huge advantage of travelling to international countries. Which has been one of the main reasons for rapid growth of globalization. Many individuals and companies has been benefited it. To illustrate, International courier services, it has helped the human kind to send, receive item across the globe. One cannot deny to have been benefited from it. Furthermore, it provides the convenience of travelling long distance within a very short duration, as compared to any other mode of travelling. For example, travelling from Delhi to Mumbai takes 2hours by flight, whereas, if the same distances is travelled by public trains it take would take more than a day. However, even public railways consume a considerable amount of natural resources and create land pollution. To conclude, I oppose the view of many, and consider air transportation has helped humans in a more significant way. Hence the demerits of it can be overcome by advancement in its fuel consumption technique and discarding old aircrafts.
The most high-tech mode of transportation has become a topic of debate nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that the fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
powered
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
causes heavy pollution.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it should
be avoided
. I oppose this argument, airways is one of the most useful mode of transport and overcome its demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
should
be maintained
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of harmful gases into the environment.

Undeniably
, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
resources, and causes air pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this can
be controlled
by improving the fossil-fuel consumption of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aircraft
and by disregarding of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
which cause excessive pollution.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass a bill to fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aircraft
research and development department,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
efficient jets, and regulate a strict law against using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation engine powered
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the huge advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to international countries. Which has been one of the main reasons for rapid growth of globalization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
has
been benefited
it. To illustrate, International courier services, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the human kind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
, receive item across the globe. One cannot
The verb 'deny' is used with the gerund form: "deny having".
deny to have
been benefited
from it.

Furthermore
, it provides the convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
long distance within a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short duration, as compared to any other mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
from Delhi to Mumbai takes 2hours by flight, whereas, if the same distances
is travelled
by public trains it take would take more than a day.
However
, even public railways consume a considerable amount of natural resources and create land pollution.

To conclude
, I oppose the view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, and consider air transportation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
humans in a more significant way.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the demerits of it can
be overcome
by advancement in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
consumption technique and discarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an interesting story that you heard in childhood. You should say: when you heard the story what the story was about what you learn from it and explain why you though the story was interesting v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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