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Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v.2

Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v. 2
Advertisements are becoming enormously popular day by day among the people. Advertising also bring one argument of some people that children are getting targeted through a massive portion of the advertisements which should be banished as it can impact in children in unwanted ways, up to a certain extent I agree with this statement however, I also believe that it is not the case every time. Initially, the number of promotions of goods and services might be an influencing source for toddler in a negative way. Moreover, it can have extreme bad consequences on them by seeing something fascinating on television, which is not only possible in the real world but also quite fake to follow through in the future. For example, in television whatever advertisers are filming it performs under proper guidance and training, although knowing these aspects juvenile still performs these stunts at home without any guidance. Consequently, they can get hurt themselves badly while some lose their soul as well. To support it, some researches from scientists demonstrate that every year, 29% of teens across the world lose their lives under these circumstances. Lastly, advertising having some bad scenes in their concept which can direct minor in negative pathways nowadays. Few of them are having not only kissing, but also love making scenes, these contents can divert kids in believing such things and experiencing by themselves. For instance, publishing such content can spoil undergraduate career, according to one survey of the University of Cambridge, 97% pupils are watching adult cinemas at an early age of their growth where they should have focused by taking intresest in sports, studying academics and learning social habits. Because of these advertising, it seems quite difficult. However, telecasting some promotions can be also informative and motivating for offspring. Some of them indicates about eating healthy foods, applying good habits in daily activities such as exercising, travelling around the world and so forth, can promote healthy growth in kid. On top it, according to the facts of psychologists, seeing motivational content youth can affect up to 50 percent. Therefore, this decision is quite based on filming directors what kinds of advertising they want to telecast on television? To summarize, I personally believe on some level teenagers are getting aimed in via a large amount of advertisings nevertheless, I also cannot deny the aspects of having some motivating advertisements around us.
Advertisements are becoming
enormously
popular day by day among the
people
. Advertising
also
bring one argument of
some
people
that children are getting targeted through a massive portion of the advertisements which should
be banished
as it can impact in children in unwanted ways, up to a certain extent I
agree
with this statement
however
, I
also
believe that it is not the case every time.

Initially
, the number of promotions of
goods
and services might be an influencing source for toddler in a
negative
way.
Moreover
, it can have extreme
bad
consequences on them by seeing something fascinating on television, which is not
only
possible in the real world
but
also
quite fake to follow through in the future.
For example
, in television whatever advertisers are filming it performs under proper guidance and training, although knowing these aspects juvenile
still
performs these stunts at home without any guidance.
Consequently
, they can
get
hurt themselves
badly
while
some
lose their soul
as well
. To support it,
some
researches from scientists demonstrate that every year, 29% of teens across the world lose their
lives
under these circumstances
.

Lastly
, advertising having
some
bad
scenes in their concept which can direct minor in
negative
pathways nowadays. Few of them are having not
only
kissing,
but
also
love
making scenes, these contents can divert kids in believing such things and experiencing by themselves.
For instance
, publishing such content can spoil undergraduate career, according to one survey of the University of Cambridge, 97% pupils are watching adult cinemas at an early age of their growth where they should have focused by taking
intresest
in sports, studying academics and learning social habits.
Because
of these advertising, it seems quite difficult.

However
, telecasting
some
promotions can be
also
informative and motivating for offspring.
Some
of them indicates about eating healthy foods, applying
good
habits in daily activities such as exercising, travelling around the world and
so
forth, can promote healthy growth in kid. On
top it
, according to the facts of psychologists, seeing motivational content youth can affect up to 50 percent.
Therefore
, this decision is quite based on filming directors what kinds of advertising they want to telecast on television?

To summarize
, I
personally
believe on
some
level
teenagers
are getting aimed in via a large amount of
advertisings
nevertheless
, I
also
cannot deny the aspects of having
some
motivating advertisements around us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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