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Describe a festival that is important in your country. You should say: When the festival occurs What you did during it What you like or dislike about it And explain why this festival is important v.2

Describe a festival that is important in your country. You should say: When the festival occurs What you did during it What you like or dislike about it And explain why this festival is important v. 2
Some believe that there is nothing to learn or understand the history, I, however, agree with those who opine that it provides us well understanding for the present and future. On the one hand, it is argued that learning history is a waste of time. We often do not get much information about past events as these events would not repeat soon. For instance, in the UK many archaeology students refuse to learn the subject of dinosaurs because they do not exist anymore and it is a waste of time. Moreover, it could be said that learning other subjects are more important than the history subject. This is because subjects like maths or science will be more useful for our career rather than understanding the history. However, history is the waste of time, which gives me the reason for not to agree with them. On the other hand, it is said that past activity provides broaden the view to deal with the present or future. For example, in China, scientists were able to identify how the pandemic corona virus had occurred, and this made it possible by having the records of a similar virus occurred last decade. Hence, the records always keep us ready if any such old events repeat. Moreover, history, generally, give us the information about our freedom fighter how they fought for us to have a better future. In my opinion, if we had not had the history subjects, we would not have known their struggle and contribution towards our freedom. In conclusion, many have different views for not learning or understanding the history, I agree that we should study the past events and records so that we can deal with the situation or problem if occurs now or in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that there is nothing to learn or understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who opine that it provides us well understanding for the present and future.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a waste of time. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much information about past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
would not repeat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
For instance
, in the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
archaeology students refuse to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of dinosaurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not exist anymore and it is a waste of time.
Moreover
, it could
be said
that learning other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
or science will be more useful for our career
rather
than understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the waste of time, which gives me the reason for not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

On the other hand
, it
is said
that past activity provides broaden the view to deal with the present or future.
For example
, in China, scientists were able to identify how the pandemic
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
had occurred, and this made it possible by having the records of a similar virus occurred last decade.
Hence
, the records always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us ready if any such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
repeat.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
generally
, give us the information about our freedom fighter how they fought for us to have a better future. In my opinion, if we had not had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, we would not have known their struggle and contribution towards our freedom.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views for not learning or understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should study the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can deal with the situation or problem if occurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
or in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a festival that is important in your country. You should say: When the festival occurs What you did during it What you like or dislike about it And explain why this festival is important v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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