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do you agree or disagreeit is better to have broad education of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject v.1

it is better to have broad education of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject v. 1
Although we are witnessing a significant advancement being made in the field of agriculture, numerous people are still deprived of basic needs like food. In my opinion, the main reason for this issue due to the inflation and the war. This essay will present the solution to be done this problem. On the one hand, the war still occurs in some countries that causes people to suffer from starvation for not being provided food which the world's agriculture is increasing. Besides, the war prevents residents producing local food and difficulty in importing products, which makes people's life more difficult, fearful and even die of famine. Moreover, inflation is also a cause for concern in some countries today. For example, the inflation of Venezuela makes the currency devaluation, so that amount's salary can only buy a kilogram of meat. On the other hand, the United Nations should prevent the conflicts in some countries because when there are not any war, the government can improve the economy and import the foods to provide the people's needs. Besides, the rate of famine in those countries will be declined and the life quality improves also improved a lot. Furthermore, the official should provide the anti-inflationary policies and the job opportunities for the citizens which help them get out of hunger and life becomes more stable. To sum up, the figure of the figure of the hungers will be reduced in the developing industrial world if the inflation and conflict are abolished in some nation by some presented solutions in this essay.
Although we are witnessing a significant advancement
being made
in the field of agriculture, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
deprived of basic needs like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In my opinion, the main reason for this issue due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. This essay will present the solution to
be done
this problem.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
still
occurs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to suffer from starvation for not
being provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which the world's agriculture is increasing.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
residents producing local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and difficulty in importing products, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life more difficult, fearful and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of famine.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
is
also
a cause for concern in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
of Venezuela
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the currency devaluation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that amount's salary can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a kilogram of meat.

On the other hand
, the United Nations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the conflicts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when there are not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy and import the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs.
Besides
, the rate of famine in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
be declined
and the life quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot.
Furthermore
, the official should provide the anti-inflationary policies and the job opportunities for the citizens which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of hunger and life becomes more stable.

To sum up, the figure of the figure of the hungers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the developing industrial world if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
and conflict
are abolished
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nation by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
presented solutions in this essay.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay it is better to have broad education of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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