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agree or disagree: The most important investment that can be made to the education of children aged four to seven is giving them a computer. v.1

agree or disagree: The most important investment that can be made to the education of children aged four to seven is giving them a computer. v. 1
Some people think that reconstruction of the ancient buildings is pricey, so we have to destroy them and install new one models as a replacement. However, I object to the idea that people would be better rebuild the old buildings. To begin, there are many arguments in favour of demolishing old buildings. We can often hear the news on TV or read in newspapers that a building in a city crumbled killing a few people or crushed a few cars by bricks. Such buildings should be demolished. The expenditure for this buildings which are in an awful condition are much more than the cost of demolishing and building new ones instead. On the other hand, there are some old buildings which give a unique identity to a place and with a little maintenance can be used effectively even today. For instance, the old house on Andreevsky descent attaches historical flavour. It is a magnificent piece of architecture which attracts tourists. There are many other such buildings which house important government offices or have been converted to hotels for tourists. Also, there is the hotel in an old building. It's called Historical hotel which has been converted into a hotel and is a good source of revenue for the government. We would lose income if we demolish such buildings. We can use old buildings not only hotels, but and historical museums. In conclusion, if we no longer need some old buildings, we can easily demolish them, but some worn-out kinds of them should remain and be actively used.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that reconstruction of the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is pricey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
them and install new one models as a replacement.
However
, I object to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be better rebuild the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buildings.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of demolishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. We can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hear the news on TV or read in newspapers that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in a city crumbled killing a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or crushed a few cars by bricks. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be demolished
. The expenditure for
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which are in an awful condition are much more than the cost of demolishing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new ones
instead
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which give a unique identity to a place and with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
maintenance can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Andreevsky
descent attaches historical
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
. It is a magnificent piece of architecture which attracts tourists. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices or have
been converted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
for tourists.
Also
, there is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. It's called Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
which has
been converted
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
and is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. We would lose income if we demolish such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
and historical museums.

In conclusion
, if we no longer need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, we can
easily
demolish them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worn-out kinds of them should remain and be
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay agree or disagree: The most important investment that can be made to the education of children aged four to seven is giving them a computer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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