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What is the best class you have taken in school? Why was it the best in your opinion? Include details and examples in you explanation. v.1

What is the best class you have taken in school? Why was it the best in your opinion? Include details and examples in you explanation. v. 1
In our present world today, there are various activities, children partake in which includes educational, physical sporting, virtual sporting activities such as gaming and many others that has been observed to contribute some certain degree of changes to their behavioural pattern. In the opinion of some guardians, it is believed that the level of violence portrayed in some gaming, media related devices and entertainment has increased which has risen their level of concerns. There are certain observable behavioural consequences peculiar to kids engaging these violent activities viewed on televisions and other form of media entertainment. Some of the few are stronger desire for violence and blood related activities, encouraging bullying among children who look a lot bigger and stronger among their peers and much more. Many schools and house of worship have in various forms waged war against violence through preaching, music and educating many about the significance of staying off and the only thing they can be to keep doing more. In addition, the government enacting laws against social-vices is also not an exception. In many governments, there are juvenile prison for capital offences or even a lot less that could help restructure the mental unhealthiness for child offenders are being built regularly. There are lots of sensitizations to dissuade wards and orient some early offenders about the consequences of the actions of these magnitudes by NGO (Non-governmental Organization). Parents are also one of the principal contributors to what a child make out of life. Abusive parents are more likely to have abused children, so, the position of parents cannot be over emphasized. It is imperative that parents are constantly advising their wards and encourage them through their own attitudes to stay off these red zones. I believe the level of information on violence should be controlled and censored to some degree. Music, videos and games publicizing violence should have some level of censorship where these things are checked before being pushed into the market for potential customers. I believe such regulations have not been implemented yet or not functioning effectively, which I believe the government and the necessary agencies should look into in order to reduce the level anxiety among these parents since technology is here to stay. In conclusion, modernization comes with a price and this is one we have to pay. But I will further advise that legislative laws against violent contents can really go a long way to improve the sanity of our progeny as long as we keep fighting to maintain a proper mental health within the society.
In our present world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, children partake in which includes educational, physical sporting, virtual sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as gaming and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others that has
been observed
to contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain degree of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
pattern. In the opinion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guardians, it
is believed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
portrayed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gaming, media related devices and entertainment has increased which has risen their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of concerns.

There are certain observable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
consequences peculiar to kids engaging these violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
viewed on televisions and other form of media entertainment.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
few are stronger desire for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and blood related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, encouraging bullying among children who look a lot bigger and stronger among their peers and much more.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of worship have in various forms waged war against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
through preaching, music and educating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
about the significance of staying off and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing they can be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
doing more.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enacting laws against social-vices is
also
not an exception. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, there are juvenile prison for capital
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
or even a lot less that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
restructure the mental unhealthiness for child offenders are
being built
regularly
. There are lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sensitizations
to dissuade wards and orient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
early offenders about the consequences of the actions of these magnitudes by NGO (Non-governmental Organization).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
also
one of the principal contributors to what a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
out of life. Abusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more likely to have abused children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot be over emphasized. It is imperative that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
constantly
advising their wards and encourage them through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
attitudes to stay off these red zones. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
should
be controlled
and censored to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree. Music, videos and games publicizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of censorship where these things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being pushed
into the market for potential customers. I believe such regulations have not
been implemented
yet
or not functioning
effectively
, which I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the necessary agencies should look into in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
anxiety among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
since technology is here to stay.

In conclusion
, modernization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a price and this is one we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I will
further
advise that legislative laws against violent contents can
really
go a long way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the sanity of our progeny as long as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fighting to maintain a proper mental health within the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What is the best class you have taken in school? Why was it the best in your opinion? Include details and examples in you explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
424 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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