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In many countries students take a year off after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it? v.1

In many countries students take a year off after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it? v. 1
Decline of students enrolling in Science subject is increasingly controversial. Not many students give priority to these subjects anymore. This essay will talk about various reasons for this problem and different impacts it has on our society. In the past, a lot of students started choosing Science as a core subject in their curriculum. But Science is a very demanding subject, a lot of time and hard work is required to understand some essential concepts, and a lot of practice to master them. In recent times, due to lack of jobs in Science field people were facing unemployment, which demotivated children from choosing that subject. But a lot of other fields such as IT and marketing developed very fast and children started prioritising subjects required in these fields, which is not science. A recent study shows that due to these reasons numbers of science students decreased by 68% since 2010. There are some major adverse effects on society such as decrease in specialised work force in a particular field and less development in that area which causes instability in society. Firstly, science is a practical subject it requires experience and book knowledge and since there will be less professionals in science sector new generation will suffer some problems in acquiring a proper understanding of these practices. For instance, most of the junior Doctors study under an expert to gain enough experience to work alone. Secondly, science field will suffer less development due to lack of workforce. For instance, if there is a new pandemic in the future which does not have a proper cure, due to lack of Doctors, that can delay in preparation for the medicine required at that time. In conclusion, there must be a balance between every field in our society. This essay discussed about both problems and provided some effects it have on our society.
Decline of
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students
enrolling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
increasingly
controversial. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
give priority to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
anymore. This essay will talk about various reasons for this problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
impacts it has on our society.

In the past, a
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lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
as a core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in their curriculum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
is required
to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential concepts, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of practice to master them. In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of jobs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were facing unemployment, which demotivated children from choosing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
such as IT and marketing developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritising' is British English.
prioritising
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subjects
required in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to these reasons numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decreased by 68% since 2010.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as decrease in
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
work force in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and less development in that area which causes instability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
it requires experience and book knowledge and since there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun professionals is countable.
less
professionals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
sector new generation will suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in acquiring a proper understanding of these practices.
For instance
, most of the junior Doctors study under an expert to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to work alone.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
will suffer less development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of workforce.
For instance
, if there is a new pandemic in the future which does not have a proper cure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of Doctors, that can delay in preparation for the medicine required at that time.

In conclusion
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance between every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This essay
Did you mean simply "discussed both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about both
problems and provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects it
Did you mean "has"?
have
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries students take a year off after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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