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Demand for food is increasing world wide. What is the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v.1

Demand for food is increasing world wide. What is the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v. 1
Food is the necessity of living being. As the population is increasing day by day, ultimately, the demand for the food is also increasing with this. To cope up with the need of of the eatables, international communities can take some steps for this. Lets discuss in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, food is the basic need for all of us to survive and it is taken in many forms such as, vegetarian and non-vegetarian. Basic cause of the increasing demand of food is the high mortality rate. Moreover, it is quite obvious that, demand is supply is somewhere directly proportional to each other. So, to meet this, there should be increases in the production of the eatable things, for instance, pulses, cereals, vegetables, fruits, meat and dairy products. Likewise, these communities have to take some mandatory steps to increase the production and supply of these products. Secondly, now a day, a lot of company employees and students ordered their meal from outside and due to unknown reasons the taste, texture and some time quantity does not meet up to the expectation of them, as the result, them through that food. As far as, some steps should be taken to stop the wastage of the food. For instance, the government should put some rules or fine against the drugging of food. As well as, some food awareness food can be organised for the public, so that people should help the neediest with food instead of throwing them. To conclude, no one survives without food, so international communities can take the essential steps towards the increase in agriculture produce by raising funds from the government.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is the necessity of living being. As the population is increasing day by day,
ultimately
, the demand for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
also
increasing with this. To cope up with the need
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
the eatables, international communities can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
for this.
Did you mean "Let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
Lets
discuss in the following paragraphs.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the basic need for all of us to survive and it
is taken
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms such as, vegetarian and non-vegetarian. Basic cause of the increasing demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the high mortality rate.
Moreover
, it is quite obvious that, demand is supply is somewhere
directly
proportional to each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this, there should be increases in the production of the eatable things,
for instance
, pulses, cereals, vegetables, fruits, meat and dairy products.
Likewise
, these communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to increase the production and supply of these products.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
employees and students ordered their meal from outside and due to unknown reasons the taste, texture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time quantity does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up to the expectation of them, as the result, them through that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As far as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the wastage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or fine against the drugging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As well
as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
for the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the neediest with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of throwing them.

To conclude
, no one survives without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
international communities can take the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
towards the increase in agriculture produce by raising funds from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Demand for food is increasing world wide. What is the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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