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Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend is a positive or negative development? v.3

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend is a positive or negative development? v. 3
Low-cost airlines have facilitated for low or middle-class people to travel all over the world. Some people think in the near future aircraft travelling will be reduced. I, personally, believe if this happens, it would be a negative development since it increases traffic on the roads and raises unemployment ratio. The first reason why I think the reduction in airline could be a negative trend is it accelerate heavy traffic on the roads. Today, the majority of passengers will prefer to travel by air in order to save time and reach their destination quickly. For example, it is estimated that one million people travel every day by aeroplane to different places, therefore, if airline lessens, passengers will be forced to travel by the road, which ultimately causes traffic congestion. The rise in unemployment percentage is another negative development. Airline industries provide millions of people jobs across the world such as pilots, air hostess, cabin crew, local shops in the airport. If the airline industries shorten a number of flights, countless people will lose their job. For example, a recent study by BBC News in January 2020 revealed that 20% of the world population are employed in the airline industry and reduction in flights resulting in a remarkable increase in unemployment percentage. In conclusion, I believe if air travel reduces in the future, it's not only lead-heavy traffic congestion on the roads, but also thousands of people working in airlines could lose their jobs. Hence, in my view, due to this it is a negative development.
Low-cost airlines have facilitated for low or middle-
class
people
to
travel
all over the world.
Some
people
think
in the near future aircraft travelling will be
reduced
. I,
personally
, believe if this happens, it would be a
negative
development since it increases
traffic
on the
roads
and raises unemployment ratio.

The
first
reason why I
think
the reduction in airline could be a
negative
trend is it accelerate heavy
traffic
on the
roads
.
Today
, the majority of passengers will prefer to
travel
by air in order to save time and reach their destination
quickly
.
For example
, it
is estimated
that one million
people
travel
every day by
aeroplane
to
different
places,
therefore
, if airline lessens, passengers will
be forced
to
travel
by the
road
, which
ultimately
causes
traffic
congestion.

The rise in unemployment percentage is another
negative
development. Airline industries provide millions of
people
jobs across the world such as pilots, air hostess, cabin crew, local shops in the airport. If the airline industries shorten a number of flights, countless
people
will lose their job.
For example
, a recent study by BBC News in January 2020 revealed that 20% of the world population
are employed
in the airline industry and reduction in flights resulting in a remarkable increase in unemployment percentage.

In conclusion
, I believe if air
travel
reduces
in the future, it's not
only
lead-heavy
traffic
congestion on the
roads
,
but
also
thousands of
people
working in airlines could lose their jobs.
Hence
, in my view, due to this it is a
negative
development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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